I don’t know about you but this week has flown by, but it feels as if I was the plane and had to do the actual flying. And somebody overloaded the plane with weighty cargo and then a person who was so big they had to take up three seats got on and they had really bad BO and nits.
But really, where does the time go? Who knows where the time goes, even? One minute you’re enjoying the fact we’ve signed a £42.5m Mesut Ozil from Real Madrid, the next it’s almost March and the football season is heading into its final stages. What’s happening? Am I just getting old? Older.
Poor old Mesut though, he’s been getting it in the ear from all manner of people. I have decided that anyone who tries to engage me in conversation online and uses the unqualified phrase ‘Ozil is shit’ is a really good way of categorising people. It’s simple, there are two choices: people who should be pushed off a very high cliff onto jagged rocks, and those who should not.
If, however, you were to say to me “Ozil is shit at Battleships”, I would think about that for a bit because who knows, you might have personal experience of playing against Ozil in the addictive pad and pencil game that later became a board game, and he may have an uncanny ability to sink your patrol boat with his opening moves.
You could say “Ozil is shit at growing facial hair”, and I’d probably have to agree with you to an extent but I’d think you were being harsh because what can he do about that? It’s his sallow complexion and he’s hardly to go out and buy a load of pubes off Scott Tenorman, is he? As we know, that only leads to a world of chilli flavoured hurt.
But if you say “Ozil is shit” and you mean to tell me that he’s shit at football … Cliff. Rocks. Cheerio, pal. May the sea take your corpse, may a shark eat your body, and then poo it out which feeds the barracuda that eats the rest of your family as they take your life insurance money and go on a holiday to help them cope with their ‘grief’.
I say ‘grief’ because undoubtedly you held other similarly daft opinions which deserved the old cliff/rocks solution. But they’re not to be spared in my world and it’s all your fault, think about that as you’re falling.
Mesut got himself an earful off Flamini too after failing to track a run or not running fast enough after failing to track a run. Some people have suggested this is a sign that things are not well in the camp, that there’s dissent between the players and it won’t be long before sides are taken, Lord of the Flies style.
Here’s the thing: Flamini is perfectly within his rights to shout at Ozil, but then you have to remember that Flamini is the type of man who also shouts at clouds. If Ozil is unhappy at Flamini’s attention, it’s more likely that he’s well aware he’s struggling and doesn’t need an angry man telling him what he already knows.
It’s the heat of battle, stuff happens on the pitch and in training but it’s not a big deal. Look at Lukasz Fabianski wander past the two of them to take a goal kick without batting an eyelid, he doesn’t pay either player the slightest bit of attention. You know why? Because it’s not worth worrying about. This kind of stuff happens all the time in games, at every level of football. It’s rarely a sign of anything other than heat of the moment stuff.
Also, you might notice that when Flamini failed to track Muller’s run which allowed Bayern to score their second Ozil wasn’t in his face shouting and pointing at him. Of course some might tell you it’s because he lacks passion and doesn’t care, and those people could probably have a good career writing for the Daily Mail and/or appearing on Sunday Supplement wearing some kind of hair clip before going to work on their secret psychic chatline because if they know what footballers and fans are thinking then why not broaden their horizons to people desperate enough to pay for such insight.
My basic thought is this: for years we’ve had people complaining that Arsenal don’t make world class signings. When we do make one – and make no mistake he’s a world class player – some of those people are willing to write him off at just a few months at a time when he’s definitely struggling for form and may need … oh, I dunno … some support.
To quote Lukas Podolski, “Trust in Mesut, he will give it back twice in return and make all of us happy. Friends stand together. Let’s go AFC!”
For the rest … cliff. Rocks. Barracuda. QED.
Anyway, as there’s little else going on this morning we might as well crack on with this week’s Arsecast, and joining me to discuss Ozil, Sanogo, Bayern Munich and more is our old friend Paolo Bandini. There’s also a trip to an unnamed live sports studio and the usual mindless waffle.
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We’ll have all the latest team news and so on from the press conference over on Arseblog News. In the meantime, have a good Friday.
Back here tomorrow with a full preview of the Sunderland game. Until then.