Friday, March 29, 2024

A boilky Sp*rs preview

*boilk*

There are very few times I get up of a morning and wish I didn’t have to write a blog. It would be fair to say today is one of those times. Not so much from the writing, although every clack of the keyboard, which isn’t an especially clacky keyboard, is like Thor smashing at my uterus with a hammer. And I don’t even have a uterus. But just from the ‘Why am I not unconscious?’ point of view.

By rights I should be. And I should stay that way until a week next Tuesday, because then, maybe, the pain would be gone.

Still, it’s no time for complaining. There’s plenty to look forward to today, once you get beyond the pain thing. The North London derby at White Hart Lane for a start. We go into it on the back of three wins, they go into it on the back of being absolute wankers.

As I said yesterday form goes right out the window for any derby and I think, and hope, that will be the case today. The team selection will be dependent on the fitness tests later on. Walcott and Gervinho are likely starters if fit, Benayoun, Rosicky and/or Arshavin the replacements should things not work out. So it’s too hard to guess at a starting XI. We know that Song will play at the back with Mertesacker, I suspect he’ll go with Frimpong in midfield, using his youthful exuberance, energy and dislike of Sp*rs to fill the midfield gap.

They’ll fancy their chances of scoring, our defence has been known to be a bit on the dodgy side apparently, but up front we have the league’s most in-form striker and if we get some service to him then I think he’ll cause them problems. I know much will be made of him who used to play for us, and it wouldn’t be at all surprising to see him score, but I really hope that his scoring record for us against them isn’t replicated the other way around.

SZCZ is hoping to keep him out, and a clean sheet, saying:

We won’t approach the game in a different way than we usually do. Ade is a great striker and we know how dangerous he is but I think it is to our advantage that we know how to deal with him. I’m not going to tell you because it’s our little secret!

I hope it’s a lightsaber in the testicles. That’d be awesome. If not I’ll live with anything that else that makes him less effective. The threat doesn’t just come from him though. I think they’ll stick Bale on the right from time to time and cutting off his delivery will be important. The Dutch bloke and the evil midgety goblin looking bloke will be dangerous too, so the collective effort when it comes to defending will be crucial.

Arsene says:

We have a very strong mentality in the team. We are highly-focused and motivated and we know that Tottenham are a good side and that it can be a difficult game. But it will be less difficult if we turn up with a great performance.

In the end it will come down to which team wants it more. Or a shocking mistake on someone’s part. Hopefully Ledley King’s. The bockety kneed floor-licker. These games are usually tight affairs. Last year we led in both games and didn’t win so hopefully we can put that right today. There is a measure of revenge necessary and although there are bound to be some twitchy moments I’m keeping it all crossed we can do the business. For all the talk of them and how they’re the best team in the history of anything, ever, if we win we go ahead of them. That should be motivation enough.

There will be live blog coverage of the game, even if my brain is screaming now at the idea of it and the clacking of keyboards, but needs must. Check back later for details of that.

In other news, Andrei Arshavin has been handed a ‘bumper new pay deal’ at the club, according to The People. Not 100% sure I understand that, to be honest. Maybe we’re trying to bribe him into playing well but I don’t know if that’s quite the right way to go about things. And the Russian says of today’s game:

It’s a crucial moment for us because if we win we can break this season … in a good way, in our way. It will give us confidence that we can beat a good team, because Spurs are a good team at the moment.

If Walcott is fit then I don’t see Arshavin starting. Our left back, whoever that might be today, requires protection and I don’t think he’s is the man to provide it. It’d be nice to think he could make an impact coming off the bench though.

Right, that’s about that for this morning. I can’t even face coffee yet so I might just hold my head in my hands until such time as that becomes an option.

Until later

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