Tuesday, October 4, 2022

Empty glasses and silly names + Arsecast 198

Good Friday to you all. If you’re a short, preachy man with a beard and a gang of eager vagabonds, may I suggest that today you stay away from any Romans that might be in your neighbourhood? You’ll thank me later.

Regular readers will know that I try and err on the side of glass-half-fullism. This week has been quite trying though. Sunday’s antics against Liverpool and another three conceded against that lot have more or less put paid to our title chances. There’s still a hope mathematically, but at the moment when I think of hope all I can think of is ‘Why do people name their children after feelings?’

Like Hope O’Toole or Grace McGillicuddy or Joy Twatschlock. See, my brain is not working very well. That’s what hope means to me now. Children whose parents probably wore sandals with white socks on. Still, some of it remains with the players. SZCZ says:

We have dropped many points. From now, we need to look forward and we must not drop any more points. We have to play United and we have to win. They have some hard games coming up, it is not easy for them and it is down to us if we want to win something. We know that we have to win our last games. I believe we can do it.

As I said earlier in the week I will never fault any player who refuses to give up. You just get the feeling that after another draw one of them would come out with:

It’s going to be tough but all we need is for a large, angry velociraptor to eviscerate every single one of the United players. Then, during a training session, one of those giant worm things from that film with Kevin Bacon that I can’t remember the name of, devours the entire Chelsea squad meaning they only have reserves and a visiting Winston Bogarde to play in their final games of the season.

If that happens, and we can stop drawing games we should win, then it’s still possible. We must believe.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for monster attacks on the opposition. I’m definitely not one of those people who would mourn them as a great loss to the game as we had to endure a week of state funerals and eulogies about how Wayne Rooney was, in fact, a wonderful family man and a great example to kids across the land. However, I suspect such attacks are unlikely and that the destiny of the title will come down to what happens on the pitch. Which is why my glass is leaning towards half-empty rather than half-full.

Bacary Sagna agrees we’ve been drawing too many games. because he’s no footballing Goldilocks. He can’t turn around say ‘You know, I think we’ve been drawing just the right amount of games’, as  games are not porridge, and that’s something our players need to learn, and fast.

There’s talk this morning of a £40m budget for the manager to work with in the summer which could be augmented by the sale of some players. I think, given we still have five games left to play, it would be wrong to speculate about the futures of players who may have to play a part, but I have been told that there’s certainly talk of a ‘clear-out’, with specific names mentioned to me.

We’ll have all summer to go over that stuff, and remember it’s going to be a long summer with no international tournament to help pass the time (no, the U21 Championships don’t count because nobody, apart from Jack Wilshere and Stuart Pearce, gives the slightest shit about them).

That hasn’t stopped The Sun getting on the speculation bandwagon already linking us with Inter Milan striker Diego Milito (good player, I’ll have a bit of that) and that Bosnian chap Spahic. I know both are highly inventive, most likely (the stories, not the players), but I hope Arsene avoids the latter. You just know that another centre-half who nobody’s really heard of, who has spent most of his career knocking around the lesser leagues in Europe, will turn out to be a roaring success. Plus, the minute he makes his first mistake he will be christened ‘The Spa’ and that will be the end of that. Another reason why we shouldn’t sign that Mongongu bloke.

The reality is, to keep everyone happy, Arsene needs to go out and find a 6’7 centre-half with the pace of Thierry Henry, the composure of Cesc, the heart of Tony Adams, the fight of Martin Keown, the passing ability of Dennis Bergkamp, who can prevent 50 goals a season and get 20 at the other end with his mighty set-piece ability. Half-arsed Bosnians with names that lend themselves to ridicule? Pffff, get a grip.

Anyway, enough of that and on to this week’s Arsecast. Joining me to shoot the breeze about the fun-filled week we’ve had is Goodplaya. Also in the mix Internet Joe, Mick Bendtnaaaar and the Angriest Man on Twitter.

You can subscribe to the Arsecast on iTunes by clicking here. Or if you want to subscribe directly to the feed URL you can do so too. To download this week’s Arsecast directly – click here (21mb MP3) or you can listen directly below without leaving this very page.


And that’s about that. Arsene’s press conference takes place this morning, so we’ll get team news and the like ahead of the Bolton game on Sunday. More on that, and whatever else transpires, in tomorrow’s blog.

In the meantime, have a good day, catch you tomorrow.

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