Interlull: vague good news amidst the terror

Good morning to you. While the other day I suggested this Interlull would be timely from an Arsenal point of view, I did not realise how horrendous it would be in other ways.

Well, one other way in particular. You can’t look at a sports section this morning without the ghastly countenance of John Terry staring back at you. Quite frankly this ought to be in the Geneva Convention. How long will it be before prisoners of war, made to stand on a stool, their genitals connected to electrodes with alsatians snapping at their dangly bits, are forced to undergo the horror of having to look at John Terry too?

From there I suspect you can begin to chart the final and inexorable decline of the human race. It’s a sad moment in history. In years to come, when a new civilisation sifts through the wreckage and the digital rubble we have left behind, I hope they find this missive, just one small voice amongst billions, which shows that not all of us were contemptible savages, slaves to the gaping maw of John Terry.

Some us tried, dammit. Some of us tried.

From an Arsenal point of view there was some vaguely good news regarding Johan Djourou and Wojscez©®. Firstly, Djourou has had exploratory surgery on his shoulder and does not need any more tinkering with his socket. This is good because we know from operations past – Theo Walcott and Philippe Senderos – that surgery in this area can result in rather lengthy absences. He could return in four weeks, all going well.

And with regard to the keeper he’s set for a scan on April 5th which will tell us exactly when he can return. In the meantime he’s still working on the training ground:

I work in the gym everyday, working on my lower body and my distribution as well which will be very good for me. I’m not getting bored, I can still do a lot of stuff.

What we have to remember, of course, is that this is a man who broke both of his arms at the same time. Any subsequent injury must be an absolute doddle to deal with.

“Feeling bad about your broken finger, Wojscez©®?”

“Well, a little bit, but at least this time I can wipe my own arse”.

It’s all about finding that positive angle on things, you see. So while it’s good that he can use the Andrex and Djourou doesn’t need his shoulder reconstructed, we have to hope that we can stay in contention until they return. Even then there might only be a couple of games left but fingers crossed they’re still important ones.

Meanwhile Robin van Persie believes we can win the title, saying:

We still have everything in our own hands and will do our utmost to win the league title, even though we have been dealt a few big blows in recent weeks. It is actually an advantage that we are no longer active in other competitions, so we won’t get distracted.

I know many will scoff at that, and I would have a mini scoff because I would rather be in the cups than not, but there is the hope that United’s schedule might tire them out in which case we could take advantage. Assuming that we don’t remain as generous as we have in gifting them points when we should be clawing them back. Their three games with Chelsea will be pivotal, they have an FA Cup semi against their city rivals and it could prove a lot to deal with.

I don’t discount the idea that they could just get on a roll and juggernaut their way to the end of the season either so nobody’s taking anything for granted. We had no distractions on Saturday against West Brom and found their stripeyness too much to deal with so all we can do is hope we get properly focused ahead of the next game against Blackburn.

Off the pitch now and Alisher Usmanov has increased his stake in the club to ‘over 27%’, sparking rumour and intrigue regarding a takeover. However, according to Tim Payton from the AST:

(Red and White) Holdings have to declare when they reach 27% of #AFC. It has taken almost a year from being at 26%. Not a takeover.

I shall remain quiet on Mr Usmanov in general but I would like to ask if this picture in The Sun is photoshopped in some way? If not he’s the most enormous head I’ve ever seen. It’s even bigger than David Dunn’s head which has long been known as the most gigantic head in football.

No wonder he hasn’t got a place on the board. They’re afraid if he falls asleep during a meeting he’d smash the mahogany table in two with his massive cranium. Those tables don’t come cheap you know.

And that’s about that for today. Just to point you in the direction of the newly launched Arseblog Online Store. T-shirts, prints, mugs, and more to come in the future, and as well as providing you with something to wear/hang on your wall, it’s a way of supporting the site.

Those of you who have already ordered, thank you very much indeed, I’ll be working on getting those out to you as quickly as possible. The store ships to anywhere in the world so feel free, wherever you are.

Right, back to the envelopes, tubes and sellotape. Till tomorrow.

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