Samir Nasri loves the taste of human flesh

Quick Sunday round-up for you.

We’ll start with Samir Nasri and the manager has spoken about his new found ‘taste for goals‘. I think a reasonable comparison would be to a lion who has got the taste of human flesh. It’s sweet and delicious and oh-so-tender (unless said lion happened to devour John Terry’s mum who I’d imagine is rather stringy and gristly) and once you’ve got that taste no amount of zebra or wildebeest or antelope will do.

I have to admit, having just got up, I’m not sure how this comparison works. If scoring goals is lionish what is the zebra equivalent? Scoring a scabby tap-in as opposed to the wonder goals Nasri has been coming up with? What I would say is this – who cares if the comparison works? The bottom lion is that Nasri is in a rich vein of form and I look forward to him sitting under a tree and letting forth that low contented ‘I’ve just eaten half my bodyweight in meat’ roar on Monday evening, as the flies and the hyenas scavenge around the corpse of Patrice Evra.

Even Samir’s public utterances have become more roary. Speaking about United he says:

They are not the same team as ­before, without Ronaldo and Tevez. Once, it was a ­little bit scary to play there but now, ­offensively, they are not the same. United are still a good team and when they are 1-0 up it’s really hard to beat them, but we are really confident we can get a result.

He’s confident, as you would expect from our mane man at the moment, and it’s impossible not to have great pride in his performances. I hope he … erm … anyway, you know. If you want to see more of Nasri talking, here is on yesterday’s Football Focus. Interviewed by his girlfrend, no less. Apologies for the horrendous image of Mark Lawrenson but there you go.

Gael Clichy talks about how playing attractive football but not getting the right results is meaningless and says of tomorrow night:

We just want to win and make our fans proud. We have been training hard every day and will show them we are up for this game.

Continuing on the poor comparison theme, Clichy is not so much a lion as a roadrunner with twisted vein in his head. Fast as anything but every so often his brain goes funny. Opposition coyotes know that if they leave some ACME birdseed on the pitch his roadrunner instincts will kick in, he’ll stop for a bit of chow and they can take full advantage. We have to make sure he’s fully fed before kick off on Monday. And someone needs to check the top of the stadium for 10 Tonne weights.

Bacary Sagna on Evra’s comments.

This story about Cesc’s fitness for tomorrow night is somewhat off the mark. There may well be more time given but at the end of the day it’ll be Arsene Wenger who makes the decision, not Cesc. I’m slightly more confident of his involvement than I was – but it’s entirely down to the manager. He has to make a decision based not only on our need for a result tomorrow but also our need to get results against Stoke, Chelsea, Citeh etc.

Beyond that not much else happening this Sunday. Thankfully the snow has all more or less melted and a game of 5-a-side awaits this evening, just moments after Chelsea and Sp*rs finish their 7-7 draw during which William Gallas sparks a 22 man brawl, a fifteen hour crowd battle and Harry Redknapp reaches Twitchon 7.

Fun times. A full preview of the United game tomorrow, until then have a good Sunday.

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