Monday, January 17, 2022

Interlull: L’amour de Jack + some arseholes

Morning folks,

in the deepest depths of the Interlull there is only enough stuff for a very quick Saturday round up. As far as I’m aware those players on international duty have come through unscathed. The Polly Pocket Russian was in Dublin last night to make Robbie Keane cry while Jack Wilshere played for England’s U21s.

The young man really is the flavour of the month. Marouane Chamakh has described him as ‘adorable‘ while this morning’s Guardian talks about handling and stroking him. He did 90 mins last night and now goes off to the senior England squad. Clearly some kind of deal has been done between Pearce and Capello who are taking turns with Jack. The U21s have what looks like a fairly tricky tie away to Romania while the seniors are at home to Montenegro.

As Wilshere is one of England’s best young players it seems odd that the U21s are being forced to play a difficult game without him while the seniors are taking him for a game they should quite easily win without him. Perhaps this is the lure of Jack, that they simply can’t take their hands off him like kids with a new toy.

“It’s my turn for Wilshere. MY TURN”.

We can only hope that their lust for this young man doesn’t drive them too mad. Visions of Capello as an Italian Monty from Withnail and I don’t do anybody any favours at all, let me tell you. Keep that breakfast down, go on.

I don’t know who else played last night but I haven’t seen the Twitter alive with stories of our players being airlifted to hospital with limbs hanging on by a thread so I’m taking that as a good sign. There’s another round of games on Tuesday so we’ll keep fingers crossed for those.

Not much else going on in terms of Arsenal. There hasn’t been any real reaction yet to the Danny Murphy stuff. I see a few of the papers have taken quotes from Ryan Shawcross from a few days ago and presented them as some kind of rebuttal. They’re not. As much as I dislike Shawcross, and I dislike him more than having an angry rabid hedgehog rammed up up my arse, in the interests of fairness and accuracy it should be pointed out.

Then again, it would also be in the interests of fairness and accuracy to point out that the comments from a few days ago are borderline retarded and show exactly why Shawcross is a player who endangers opponents. He’s simply too stupid to understand that the way he plays the game is wrong and with nobody around to tell him he continues to blunderbuss his way through games.

His cro-magnon approach to football has already broken Francis Jeffers ankle, put Adebayor out for a lengthy period and snapped Aaron Ramsey’s leg in two, yet he believes this is just part and parcel of the game.

If this were ancient Rome and the game was ‘fight your way out of the Colosseum’ he might have a point. As this is football he couldn’t be more wrong. Yet we’re not surprised. He’s clearly not the brightest and when he’s being egged on by nasty little cunts like Tony Pulis and the rest of the dimwitted cretins at Stoke then the consequences are inevitable. For the good of the game one can only hope Shawcross is pointed in the right direction.

That, of course, being in front of the 11.25 from Kings Cross to Manchester.

As well as cavemen like Shawcross there’s been a measure of anger at the FA for their reluctance to do anything about serious foul play. They can when they feel like it – witness the ban handed out to Ben Thatcher for smashing Pedro Mendes in the face with his elbow – but too often they’ve trotted out an excuse about FIFA’s rules preventing them from doing so. Well, according to Another Arsenal Blog, it’s not true. Quel surprise.

I have to admit all this talk of the FA and Stoke and Shawcross is no way to start a Saturday morning, is it? We need something better than that to get our day going. So, to finish, and seeing as he’s back at the club, let us strip down to our Speedos and clamber in the Jacuzzi of Bob. The best of his love from 2001-2.

Till tomorrow.

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