Wednesday, November 30, 2022

Adios Interlull, hello football

It is done. This Interlull is over and I think it’s fair to say it has been one of the most tedious, lifeless, depressing Interlulls of all time.

Last night I played a match myself, came home, had a bite to eat and sat watching Ireland for a while. It struck me that the match I played in, which was competed by men in varying states of decay and pacelessness, was of a better quality than this international fixture. It makes me sad to think that in order to play for Ireland you just need to be a tiny bit better than Sean St Leger, Ireland’s most ridiculously named footballer.

I only know of the England game via the medium of Twitter and the folk on there talking of its awfulness. Kevin Davies was sent on to save the day. And that sentence just about sums everything up. Kevin Davies was sent on to save the day. Jack Wilshere didn’t get on which is disappointing for him, I’m sure, but good for us as he’ll come back reasonably well rested.

So far there have been no reports of post-Interlull injuries but we’ll have to wait until Arsene’s pre-game interviews to find out for sure. He’s quite good at dropping them in when you least expect it. Like after the last one there was no talk of Vermaelen being injured in the interview he did with the official site but at the pre-game press conference … BAM. There it was. And we haven’t see Vermaelen since.

There does seem to be a few on the way back. Again it’s kind of early to be 100% positive about this but The Sun reckons Cesc, Theo and Nicklas Bendtner could all be in various states of contention for the game against Birmingham. The big Dane says:

It is quite amazing. I reckon I’m probably right to be involved in the fight on Saturday for Arsenal – and I am excited. I thought ideally that I should play one or two reserve games first, but I am in such good shape that it is not needed.

Nevertheless, it will surely take him a few games to get anywhere close to match fit. We’ll have to wait and see what the situation regarding Vermaelen is and Robin van Persie should be more or less ready to go as well, but I suspect extreme caution is being utilised in his case.

It will be interesting to see what happens with the goalkeepers. I think we can safely assume that Almunia’s injury has cleared up now. Does he go straight back in or will the manager keep faith with Fabianski? Will Wojscez©® drop back to the number 3, making Vito Mannone even more unhappy? Will there be a goalie-off in training as none of them talk to each other over comments they’ve made in the press?

I suppose it’s a measure of how up in the air the keeper situation is that this morning, on NewsNow, I can see us linked with at least three goalkeepers, ranging from experienced internationals to barely formed embryos. And as it’s October, and the transfer window doesn’t open for another two and a half months, those stories can fuck off down a Chilean mine for all I care.

We’ve also been linked with yet another wonderkid, Anderlecht striker Romelu Lukaku. I tire of such stories, I really do, and as this bloke’s name reminds me of that awful record by Suzanne Vega this particular wonderkid can stay on the second floor lest he be the recipient of the kind of beating that would make him wish it was just his Dad that slapping him around.

If the reserves and youths are your thing, here’s Liam Brady talking about how our ones are most excellent indeed, while a young Catalan defender compares himself to Cesc’s spitty pal.

Now, onto the competition and I have to say, with all due respect, that many of you need to read things properly. I asked you yesterday against whom did Dennis Bergkamp score his final Arsenal goal. My guess is that loads of you saw the ‘f’ and immediately thought ‘first’ which would explain why around 40% of you entered the competition, confidently, and often with many exclamation marks, declaring ‘Southampton!!!!’ to be the answer.

Which, of course, it is not. Dennis scored his final Arsenal goal against West Brom, a late curling effort on Dennis Bergkamp day, which really ought to be a national holiday, let’s face it. Anyway, the RNG has done its thing and the winner is David Nevin. Congratulations to you, you’re the winner of this fine Dennis Bergkamp canvas from Modern Canvas Art. I’ll be in touch to get your details and bad luck everyone else. More competitions soon.

And that’s about. Much more normal service should resume from now but one more YouTube to finish us off. There’s nothing quite like cunting one in from distance. Enjoy.

More tomorrow.

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