Thursday, April 18, 2024

Gibbs is staying alive and other news

When Kieran Gibbs limped off the pitch on Tuesday night I’m sure I’m not alone when I thought ‘See you next season, young man’.

I expected every metatarsal in his foot to be shattered into a thousand tiny pieces, requiring many painful and complicated surgeries. Due to the stress and a quickly developed reliance on prescription painkillers I had visions of Gibbsy wallowing in a depressive mire, unable to play the game he loves, and resorting to bank robberies while off his face huffing glue just to get the high that football gave him.

When he was eventually shot four times in a bar in dive bar in the Costa del Sol, surviving only because the assailant, a Russian crime lord’s vaguely handicapped son, was so drunk he missed with the other sixteen shots, it wouldn’t have been a surprise to anyone.

However, there’s good news everybody, his metatarsal is not broken, not even into one piece let alone thousands. It’s just badly bruised and he’ll be out for the ‘short term‘, which means he’ll be back sometime before February. Har har. Seriously though, it is good news, and maybe he’s just been a bit unlucky. I have no idea how he picked up the new injury, the old one was from a fairly nasty tackle, but perhaps he also has a case of weak metatarsals. It might be an idea to reinforce his boots or send him out in a good old fashioned pair of brogues.

Whatever about that though it’s good news that he’s not going to miss a good chunk of the season. His display on Tuesday was good enough to have him in real contention to keep his place against West Brom this weekend. If it provides a kick up the arse to Gael Clichy, reminding him to concentrate for the 90 minutes and to cut out the moments where his brain appears to freeze then turn into the brain of a retarded penguin, then we’ll have to just take that for now.

The waxing lyrical over Jack Wilshere continues with Tomas Rosicky saying he has something special. No, not a pet monguin, but a rare footballing ability for a player so young.

When he has got the ball he is very calm, that’s something that sometimes younger guys don’t have – they panic a little bit or something. With him you don’t see that though – he is very comfortable with the ball. That’s the first quality you are looking for and he has got that.

I know we’re urging caution and patience and all those things but the way the media works these days I do fear there’s going to be an awful lot of hype surrounding Jack in the next little while. He’s had more than five good games in a row, according to Sky standards this makes him one of the best players in the world – ever – and deserves some kind of montage on one of their risible football shows, probably Soccer Saturday, after which they’ll sit down and talk about how he is one of the best players in the world – ever – and declare him in the answer to all of England’s problems when they play big tournaments.

The difficulty, of course, is when he has a couple of indifferent performances and then he’ll be the cause of all England’s woes and why won’t the manager go for youth, like Spermy McEmbryo at Chelsea. It’s really important that he doesn’t get carried away with all the praise – as I’ve said I’m sure there are lots of people around him who can keep his feet on the ground. His emergence, thus far, rivals that of Cesc Fabregas, someone who Jack says is a big influence, so hopefully he can learn from him, to continue to improve and develop as a player and then decide he wants to live where the sun shines.

Meanwhile, Henri Lansbury has been talking about his goal against Sp*rs, saying it was like a dream. He wants to use it as a platform for first team football:

Obviously I’m pushing for a place every week, that’s why I want to be in the first team. I’ve just got to keep working hard in training and hopefully I’ll get my chance.

The funny thing is he was due to go out on loan this season. There were offers accepted from Swansea, Newcastle and Blackburn (of all people) but he picked up a little knock in training which is why he was still around to play against Sp*rs. Sometimes it’s little accidents of timing like that which can make or break a career. Remember Cuntley Cunt was being made available for transfer until we discovered Silvinho’s passport was made with some coloured card, pieces of double-sided sticky tape and some old toilet rolls.

At the very least you would expect him to feature in the Carling Cup, a competition which looks ever more winnable after last night’s results. Out went Man City, Chelsea and Liverpool, leaving us, United and Villa as the only other top 6 sides in it. There’s definitely a time and a place for blooding youngsters and this competition has generally been it. However, there’s also the very real need for Arsenal to win something this season. This is now a tournament we should go for. I don’t mean play the first team in every round but let’s do what we did against Sp*rs.

The first team irregulars get a game, add a bit a spiky youth like Lansbury, have some quality on the bench if needed and let’s give it a go. You can’t help but hear the former Arsenal players, now sullying themselves in the media as pundits, talk about how the League Cup win in 87 was a stepping stone to other successes, league titles and all. Instill the belief that you can win a trophy and it makes a big difference. Anyway, it’s down the manager but I think he’d be a bit mad to not take this seriously now – and that means not playing Fabianski ever again.

Little Tomas reckons he’s going for it, saying:

You can see the boss is going for it. He wants to win the Carling Cup more this season because he took the whole team here. That gives us a better chance of winning it. We have a good enough squad to compete on all levels. I came in 2006 and have won nothing yet. I came here to win trophies, so let’s go for it in style.

That’s the spirit. Hopefully the draw, made on Saturday, will be kind, although if I had any money I’d put it on United away.

Ahead of the Chelsea game there’s good news from Cesc who told a Spanish radio station:

There is no muscle rupture and I will be back perfect in about ten to 11 days. I am working with an osteopath in Paris and just working day to day. I think I will make the Chelsea game.

That is good to hear and hopefully this chappy in Paris can get to the root of his hamstring issues. He’s had a few too many of these in recent times and it’d be good to get the problem sorted once and for all.

It does strike me, however, that there’s a great business opportunity for someone who is a medical talking guy. All these players, from all kinds of clubs, go abroad for treatments. Perhaps it’s because they’re the best or perhaps it’s because they’re perceived to be the best because they’re abroad. So, sports injury guy Michael Collins with a practice in London, needs to chance his name to Michel Colón and rake in the cash from rich footballers and their clubs.

Just to make it clear, the idea is mine: 5% of everything and it’s yours. Call me, first come first served.

Not much else happening really. It seems Arsene’s pre-WBA press conference is taking place today so there should be a plethora of team news and other news for tomorrow’s blog which will come, as usual, with a dose of aural goodness in the form of the Arsecast.

Until then.

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