Monday, December 11, 2023

It doesn't even merit a title

Morning all,

still no confirmation of the Squillaci deal but I’m not too worried. There are plenty of reasons why it might not have been announced yet. As I mentioned on Twitter there is a serious Q shortage in the Armoury and attempts to Tippex an O have floundered.

There’s also the fact that the club photographer dropped his Instamatic camera and the film came out ruining the photos, the official website is having problems with its HTML and can’t change ‘transfer linked’ into ‘transfer signed’ without the font looking like it was drawn by a mutant with a paw instead of a hand, and the player himself insisted on going back to house in Seville to get his lucky socks before he put the final signature on the deal.

Bottom line is that Arsenal make sure everything is done and dusted before they announce a transfer. You might remember when we sold Emmanuel Adebayor to Man City they announced it on a Saturday evening. It wasn’t until Monday that we confirmed the transfer. That was simply because it took until Monday for all the relevant documents to be signed and cleared by the powers that be. City jumped the gun to show off to their fans.

I suspect this is just another example of how the internet is destroying people’s attention spans. We’re so utterly impatient we can’t bear the fact things aren’t working to our schedule. It’s like when someone sends you an email saying ‘Hah, check out this awesome YouTube video’, you ready yourself for 30 seconds of hilarity and then when it loads you notice it’s two minutes long.

‘Two minutes? I don’t have two minutes. I want the payload NOWWWWW’.

When it happens it happens. There’s not much we can do in the meantime except wait and stressing about things you can do nothing whatsoever about is bad for you.

There doesn’t appear to be a great deal else going on other than loads and loads of headlines about Jose Mourinho. I tend not to listen to Mourinho very much as he raises the ire in me. His voice – even more than that ghastly impersonation of him – makes me wish I had been exposed to extremely high doses of gamma radiation so I could burst out of my clothes, turn green and go mental wearing nothing but torn purple pants.

The torn purple pants thing I do on my holidays but it’s not the same. I just don’t understand the English media’s obsession with him. Well, that’s a lie, I do, because if you ask him something which he can then see resulting in headlines involving himself then he’s keen as mustard. If he hadn’t been a football manager and was just a football fan instead he would be the biggest internet troll of all time. He would make a career out of it. I have not got the slightest interest in anything he says about Arsenal – I’d had enough since the distasteful ‘voyeur’ comments – especially as he hasn’t been in English football since John Terry got him the sack back in 2007.

There’s no escaping the fact the man is a very good football manager. Equally, however, there’s no escaping the fact he is one of the biggest cunts ever to walk the face of the earth, and I include the Vaginasaurus Rex in that.

As for Señor Twitch down the Lane saying they’d ‘got one over on Arsenal’ regarding the signing of William Gallas, do me a favour. If Gallas hadn’t already left the club, spent all summer tarting himself around Europe and being turned down by club after club before rocking up there desperate for a game of football then he might have a point. Still, I’m sure Gallas will make a fine contribution to their European ambitions when they go out tonight and beat Young Boys without even breaking a sweat and certainly not conceding any goals at all.

Jack Wilshere has been ‘demoted’ to the England U21 squad prompting outrage from The Sun who label Capello a jackass. The media campaign against the Italian is really quite unseemly now, bringing out the very worst in the English press. Wilshere is just 18, has played 2 Premier League games for Arsenal, and while I don’t really give a shit about international football in general I don’t think there’s anything wrong at all in Wilshere playing for the U21s rather than sitting on the bench for the senior team.

Some interesting news re: players being cup-tied for Europe (cheers, BA). Well, it’d be interesting if we ever signed anyone ahahahahahahaZZZzzzzzzzzzzz.

And sadly that’s about all there is. Hopefully tomorrow we’ll have more stuff involving Arsenal and less stuff involving people whose faces I push into propellors.

Have a good one.

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