I really could sleep all day you know. I was quite happily lying in my house watching Match of the Day last night at about midnight, when a friend of mine from London called me and told me he was in town for the evening for his brother’s birthday and did I want to go out for a drink. Naturally, how could I refuse? 5 hours later – coincidentally 5 hours ago – I staggered home and passed out. So again, it’s my natural sociability that’s the reason for the late blog. Not just because I’m a lazy arse. Not just because of that, oh no.
I just had a very strange dream too. I hadn’t shaved my head properly and there were big tufty bits at the back that I had to sort out because it was the first day at school tomorrow, and when I went to use the clippers, Stephen Gerrard was there, looking predictably shifty. Anyway, he was very apologetic about the other night and said we were far the better team and deserved to go through because the competition would be worse for our absence. Which was nice. But you know, fuck him, and stuff. The cunt.
So, the Arseblog 5-a-sides took place yesterday, and I’m delighted to report that … I have no idea who won, who was crippled, whether anyone died of over-exertion, whether there were any fights, red or yellow cards, or who lost. I imagine you all had a good time though, and that Arseblogger will have a full report for you tomorrow.
The fallout from yesterday’s game against Reading continues, with their charming and in no way xenophobic manager, Steve Coppell, isn’t happy with Alex Hleb, for his cheeky slap on Reading’s captain Graeme Murty. To be fair to Coppell would be like being fair to someone that had just run over your kitten, but, in fairness, Hleb was lucky not to be sent off and it will doubtless be dealt with by the FA. I’m fucking sick of these pansy arsed slaps we get from people though. If the ref had seen it, Hleb would’ve been off and got a three match ban. If Hleb had punched him properly and broken the cunt’s nose, he’d still only get a three match ban. The moral of the story? Punch people *properly*!
Arsene Wenger has had some nice things to say about Cesc Fabregas. I don’t think there’s an Arsenal fan in the world that doesn’t have some nice things to say about Cesc Fabregas. The boss says his priority this summer is to keep the squad together, but that’s he’s looking at “2 quality players”. Like Blogger, I don’t think those players necessarily have to be household names to make a difference – look at Bacary Sagna and the influence he’s had this season – but they do need to be good players. Not promising, upcoming stars, but good proven players that can deal with pressure and have that little bit of experience to guide the less experienced players in our side (the ones like William Gallas, for giving away that penalty against United, and Kolo Toure, for giving away that penalty against Liverpool….oh). Anyway, a centre back, a winger, and a striker are the order of the day/month/season/transfer window, I think.
Further to my comment about the Hairy Handed one’s comments about Cesc leaving yesterday, about a million websites are now reporting “Cesc to stay put, Cesc to stay for life, Fabregas fully committed”. I think that’s all that needs to be said about that one. Oh, except for fuck off Sky you shit stirring cunts. Even if Cesc did leave, which he’s not going to, The Arsenal would still be here, shoving it up your cunts. You said we’d struggle to make the top six this season with Henry leaving; you said we’d never replace Vieira. Well, you know what, we fucking have done and will carry on doing so long after your tired little media circus has fucked off.
Unusual link of the day: Henry to come back to England. I say unusual because it’s in the Lancashire Evening Post. The former captain has hardly set the world on fire at Barca, though it would be nice to see him get a double hat-trick on Wednesday night, but it’s hard to think of a club in England that he’d go to. Not us, obviously, and the only other clubs with the sort of status I suppose he would be interested in are United, Liverpool, and Chelsea. And I can’t see him playing for any of those galactic-sized cunts.
And, finally, in transfer-related news, The Mirror has us buying just about every young player on the planet, with Raul Abiol and Klaus Van Hunterlaar linked.
And that, dear friends, is your lot. I’m going to go and try and recover from my two nights of heavy, heavy drinking. Arseblogger will be back tomorrow and normal service shall be resumed. Until the next time, it’s been a pleasure.