january 13th
09.03 – I really need a new computer. I’ve been playing around with the new Dreamweaver and it’s got some very groovy css based stuff which I was playing around with. But, this solid fuel Macintosh beneath me here has seen better days. I’ve been piling on the extra turf but it’s still just chugging along like Tom Jones on a Las Vegas stage. And last night came the terrible news that once I again I didn’t win the lottery. El Gordo, my arse. El fucking rip off Spanish Bandito more like. No doubt it was won by some 93 year Andalucian man who lives in a shack with a goat and a pig and possibly a little dog with a curly tail who won’t let the money change him and will now be the richest of all the old men in Spain who have nothing better to do than sit under a tree all day and scratch at the ground in case they come across anything interesting. I never quite know what they expect to find. “Stone. Stone. Cigarette butt. Stone. Olive pip. Stone….”
It’s a strange place to live sometimes. Last Thursday my phone got cut off because they tried to take the direct debit when there was no money in late November, then failed to inform me, and it took them that long to cut me off. Of course, I would have paid the bill by now, except in Spain you can only pay bills in the bank on a Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday, and only between 8am and 10am. If you’re any later than that on a Thursday you have to wait until the following Tuesday. And of course I have to get the cunt back out to fix the boiler because I don’t know what the fuck they did to it the last time, but now anytime you use hot water in the house it makes a sound like a World War II airplane about to crash into the side of the house. And the car is fucked. Partially my fault as I set the engine on fire changing the battery. I don’t know who else shares the blame for that but it’s not all my fault. I’m not the most mechanically minded person around, so I can’t be held fully responsible for things when other people know fine well I can hardly change a plug, let alone a car battery. The only other time I’ve looked under the bonnet of a car is when I was out putting up posters for a gig I was doing with a mate of mine. We were going around the various universities trying to get students to spend their money coming to the club we’d rented and the DJs we’d booked. My mate’s car was an old Golf and unreliable at the best of times. Anyway, coming back we noticed some smoke coming from under the bonnet, pulled over and when we looked underneath it was like The Towering Inferno. We ran into a shop and got a fire extinguisher and put the fire out. I took a look and said ‘I reckon your engine’s fucked.’ I was right too. Sadly a career as a skank jockey, or ‘mechanic’, didn’t happen. Anyway, football news….
….there isn’t any. Sorry.
