Arseblog: Saturday 31st August 2002

august 31st

09.25 – “He looks like a gargoyle on the side of a church, his mum was a dwarf and his father was Lurch, his name is Zola, Z-O-L-A. Zola” ©arseblogger – this morning.

Gianfranco warns the Gunners that they’re not unbeatable as Chlesea get ready to take on the Champions tomorrow. I have to say, he’s about the only Chlsea player I have any time for. A top professional, and a gentleman too. What a shame he plays for that bunch of spivs.

Another shame is Robbie Keane signing for Sp*rs. What a step down from Leeds reserves. Anyway, it’ll make Ireland’s games more interesting now. If he does well for the Republic, that’s great. If he plays shite, gets sent off or injured, that’s even better. Meanwhile, Bolton’s human walrus of a manager Sam Allardyce has blasted Glenn Hoddle (sadly only verbally and not with a 12 guage) for his half arsed attempts to sign Michael Ricketts.Hoddle allegedly replied “I never tried to sign them players. What I meant to say was that all cripples are paying for their sins in past lives and that Eileen Drewery gives a great rim job”.

Anyway, from nearly signing Rivaldo, Morientes, Crespo and every other big name under the sun, it’s obvious Sp*rs sights were set much lower and having categorcially insisted that Robbie Keane was not on his list (despite David Pleat saying he was), it seems Hoddle has signed a player he never wanted just to keep the fans happy.

Anyway, it doesn’t take much to be the best Irish striker around, but would Robbie get a game for England or France or Spain or any half decent national side? Would he f*ck. Will he make Sp*rs a top 6 club? Will he f*ck. Also, Sp*rs fans might want to think abou the fact he doesn’t tend to stay too long at his club de jour – Wolves, Coventry, Inter Milan, Leeds and now Sp*rs in 4 seasons. If he wasn’t Irish, people might call him a tempremental, money grabbing, typical foreigner mercenary.

Have you ever noticed that if you say the name ‘Joe Cole’ over and over again out loud it sounds more like ‘Joke Hole’? Hmmmm….

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