Friday, March 29, 2024

Arseblog: Tuesday 4th June 2002

june 4th

19.45 – This is great fun. Aside from the game, make sure you pay attention to what ‘Roby’ says after each kick. My favourite so far – “You will not make a good score if you play boowling!!!”.

08.55 – I think I’ve been watching too much football and eating too much cheese before bed. Last night I dreamt that Freddie Ljungberg had changed his hair and was now sporting a ‘Chris Waddle’….with that ‘Achy Breaky Heart‘ mullet and everything.

I tried to tell Freddie that this was a shocking and frankly dispicible way to sport one’s hair, but he just said ‘Look, everyone’s doing it’ and when I looked around there were 60,000 Koreans in a football stadium all with the same haircut but with a red stripe. Then they started throwing things at me. Things like old cars, entire buildings and most bizarrely of all, Doberman puppies. All the while, Freddie laughed and flicked his terrible hair like some kind of fashion model. Most odd.

The build up to England v Argentina is warming up. Juan ‘seba’ Veron says “English people mean nothing to me“, thus further helping build an already strained relationship with Manchester United fans, while Bobby Charlton says the Argentinians are ‘World champion cheaters‘. What an ambassador he is.

Ireland are taking on Germany tomorrow, with Mick McCarthy telling his team to use ‘…every trick in the book‘. Hopefully that means sawing the Germans in half, before someone pulls a rabbit out of the hat to score the winning goal. I think he just means plain old gamesmanship. Ah well, it was too much to expect Ireland to provide the World Cup magic. Sorry.

Finally for now, Anastacia – the wailing, shrieking, eardrum perforating pop star who sings the World Cup anthem, speaks of when she met ‘Pay Lay‘. Sheesh.

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