29 Jun 2015

A morning in the life …

6.01am: Wake. Feel groggy. That last glass of wine immediately deemed unnecessary. 6.01 – 6.11am: Lie there as long as possible, delaying the inevitable. 6.12am: Get up, get slurped by large German Shepherd. Eventually make it to bathroom 6.14am: Make coffee. Declare to Mrs Blogs that this will be an

364 arses
28 Jun 2015

The fans who cried wolf

Morning all, it’s very, very quiet this morning. There was no Cech announcement yesterday. That’s all right. I was out doing stuff in real life so I didn’t notice. I saw a man vaping in a most unsatisfactory manner. I find those things ludicrous. Smoke or don’t smoke but let’s

166 arses
27 Jun 2015

Saturday round-up: Things will happen whenever they happen.

A very quick Saturday round-up for you. Lots of people are Tweeting me this morning wondering if we have to buy Petr Cech at all because David Ospina was so good last night for Colombia against Argentina. Although Messi & Co eventually made it through to the semi-finals via penalties,

122 arses
This mouse is a battery scoffing wanker
26 Jun 2015

My mouse is a rat, and has Coq-blocked Schneiderlin?

Technology is wonderful these days. You can read Arseblog on your phone first thing in the morning as you go about your daily ablutions, you can watch HD video on tiny devices with more computing power than the highest spec PC from a few years ago, there’s the ‘Internet of

386 arses
25 Jun 2015

Jeepers Keepers

The pursuit of Petr Cech is a very intriguing one for Arsenal on a number of levels, it weaves a web of tangled narratives. On the surface, it’s a signing that makes a lot of sense. It strengthens us in a key position on the pitch, one that many believe

12 arses
25 Jun 2015

Alexis is all right, Podolski wants to come back, Vlad arrives

Morning all. There are a couple of reasons I haven’t been watching the Copa America this summer. Firstly, the time it’s on at means I’m usually all tucked up in bed. Secondly, while I love football, the summer does provide some time away from the game – especially when we’re

86 arses
24 Jun 2015

Pliable vs Reliable: on transfers, rumours and thriving on lies

Morning all. It’s a beautiful day. The sun is shining, the sky is blue, the tumbleweeds are tumbling … oh. Yes, there’s only so long they can manage to stretch out the ‘Petr Cech move complete’ or ‘Arsenal agree terms with Cech’ or ‘Chelsea and Arsenal agree fee for Cech’

233 arses
Arsecast - the Arsenal podcast
23 Jun 2015

Arsecast Extra Episode 72 – 23.06.2015

Here’s this week’s Arsecast Extra with myself and James from @Gunnerblog. After a week off we’re back with a vengeance to discover life after a holiday is shit, a shocking development in the world of the Arsecast Extra, the potential signing of Chelsea goalkeeper Petr Cech, the departure of Ryo

1 arses
My Barcelona view for the last 10 days
23 Jun 2015

Time for me to Cech in again

Good morning, I’m back once again. But not like a renegade master, because my behaviour is not ill. I’d love to tell you I feel refreshed, full of vim, vigour and with my batteries fully recharged, but sadly that’s not the case. It’s not that I didn’t have a splendid

293 arses
22 Jun 2015

Monday Morning Mince

Good morning and welcome to a brand new week, where it’s absolutely nailed on things will start happening. Today’s my last day standing in for Blogger, so I’m quite sure we’ll sign ALL the players today and there’ll be loads to report tomorrow. If that does happen, I’m claiming the assist,

Tom 255 arses
21 Jun 2015

Warwickshire waffle

Good morning from a farm somewhere in Warwickshire, Englandshire, where I’ve woken up in the brightest bedroom in the world. My room is in the eves of a cottage, and there’s a skylight opposite the bed. It has a blind, but the blind is white, so the effect of said blind

Tom 93 arses
20 Jun 2015

Memories of Dennis, Jenko’s loan back on, and Alexis X Factor

Good morning and welcome to the weekend. A quick round up of stories this morning, as I’m driving from the Highlands to Stratford Upon Avon today, which is exactly how I want to spend six hours of my Saturday. Having briefly mentioned Dennis Bergkamp in yesterday’s blog, Alan Smith has seemingly taken

Tom 136 arses