!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.01 Transitional//EN" "http://www.w3.org/TR/html4/loose.dtd"> Arseblog -"It's fuckin' excellent"...an Arsenal blog.

june 16th

09.23 - This is going to be another one of those mornings where I awake to find very little Arsenal news, yet by mid-morning or early afternoon there are loads of stories around.

Which still leaves me in the difficult position of having to come up with something this morning. Luckily for me I got an email from a Leeds fan asking me about Pennant and stuff. In his email he says "Word up here is that Pennant and Parlour are coming. Pennants [sic] was seen after having a medical and Parlour is believed to have agreed terms last week. Kewell is definitely going to Arsenal and Robinson seems likely to go as well."

Right, so nothing new there. Not sure about Pennant being used as part of the Kewell deal though. Could we not give them Cygan, whether they want him or not?

"Ok Leeds United, we'll buy Kewell and Robinson from you, give you Parlour and Jeffers...not only that, we'll give you a few quid too...and wait, it doesn't stop there...we'll throw in this tall, bald 'defender' absolutely free. And wait, if you pay by credit card, we'll throw in this marvellous collection of 50s music too. And the Art of Cabinet Making with 101 shop tips, and this pen that writes upside down..."

In the old days people used to trade with donkeys all the time, given our cash problems it seems like the barter system is the best way to do it.

Valencia won't be playing Champions League football next season after being beaten 3-0 at home by Barcelona, so the futures of Canizares and Ayala should become clearer during the week. It would also be a huge surprise if Robert Pires left to go there now.

Phillipe Mexes has had a bit more to say than 'Why not?' when asked about Arsenal. "I have spoken to some of my France international team-mates a bit about Arsenal,. Titi [Henry] told me that I could come but, hey, I'm not the one who's running things. I've still got to go and visit Arsenal and I've had no one from there on the phone."

Finally for today, check out the columnists link on the right hand side. Over the coming months we'll have plenty of new writing and articles for you. It kicks off today with Mike Rocks' debut piece, 'We love you Arsenal'.

We have tried to contact Leopold on a frequent basis over the last couple of weeks. After repeatedly watching 'Fast Times at Ridgemont High' he's developed some kind of fixation with Jennifer Jason-Leigh, has flown to America, and has been stalking her and singing minor Lloyd Cole hits at her when she comes out of her house. We hope to have him back soon though.

Now, just sit back and watch the Arsenal news come rolling in...

june 15th

15.52 - Yesterday I said 'Word is there's a double-deal going down, Robinson and Kewell to Arsenal, Parlour and Jeffers plus some cash to Leeds'.

That 'word' was only in my head though, because I didn't hear it from anyone. I just made it up. In today's News of the World they say Robinson and Kewell to Arsenal with Parlour and Jeffers going the other way. How queer.

Leeds Chairman Professor John McKenzie has spoken about Kewell and what he says is quite interesting. "With Harry we can't afford another Lee Bowyer situation. If he doesn't sign a new contract we'll get nothing in a year's time, so it would be better to have Jermaine Pennant and some money in rather than finish up with nothing."

He also outs Peter Reid "Clearly we need some money to spend on additions to the current squad. And Peter Reid fancies young Pennant."

Phillipe Mexes has talked about leaving Auxerre and when asked if he'd move to Arsenal said "Why not?" Nothing like a bit of enthusiasm, eh?

As well as coveting Robert Pires, Inter Milan want Freddie Ljungberg too and have offered Sergio Conceicao in exchange for our Swedish international. In some papers Robert Pires is going to Inter Milan, according to other sources he's going to stay at Arsenal. Speaking from France, Pires has reportedly said "I feel at home among the English and I don't think I want to go anywhere else." Then sign a contract, please Robert.

I read the Sunday Express on the train home this morning, and they have a big article saying how Arsenal are ready to sell Vieira for £25m to Real Madrid. The deal has not only been sanctioned by Arsene Wenger, but it was AW's idea in the first place. He will also sell Robert Pires to Valencia for £5m. With that money he's going to buy Robinson, Kewell, Trezeguet and an un-named centre-half. Good one.

Right, I'm hungover and way too hot. Time to go float in the sea for a while.

june 14th

09.56 - A short update for you this morning. I've places to go, people to see, fish to buy, men to see about dogs etc.

Santiago Cañizares is talking like he's already an Arsenal player. In this article he says "Seaman is a legend in English football and it will be tough for any player to replace him but you can win over the fans by working hard. And that's what I do. I don't know Taylor but I suppose he will have aspirations to be the No.1. But wherever Canizares plays, he gives his best and it is up to the coach to decide my role - I'm not fussed about being on the bench."

Do we really want a keeper who can't speak English and who's not bothered if he's on the bench? Hasta luego sunshine, and according to some sources Paul Robinson had a medical at London Colney yesterday which would put paid to any move for Canizares. Word is there's a double-deal going down, Robinson and Kewell to Arsenal, Parlour and Jeffers plus some cash to Leeds. We'll see. Leeds Chairman Professor John McKenzie says Robinson is not interested in Arsenal. Smokescreen. Same as the announcement that Leeds have had constructive talks with Kewell.

Dennis Bergkamp may not sign a new deal at Arsenal after all. He's said to be unhappy with the reduced terms of his contract. Apparently it's a small basic plus pay-as-you-play and other payments for goals and assists. The Dutchman feels he deserves better from Arsenal and may look elsewhere for his final season. Of course, that could all be just paper talk and Arsenal are waiting to make one big announcement re: signings and re-signings to save money on press releases and fax paper.

Dream on Basturk.

Like the rats following the pied-piper of Hamelin, other Arsenal blogs follow behind Arseblog, ready one day to fall off a cliff to their doom. Or something. What I mean to say is check out www.eastlower.com, a rather good Arsenal blog by a bloke who sits in the North Bank, Clock End, East Lower.

Right, that's yer lot. I have places to buy, fish to see etc. Have a good weekend.

june 13th

08.53 - First off this morning we'll say congratulations to Arsene Wenger who has been awarded an honourary OBE for his work and success at Arsenal. Liverpool manager Gerard Houllier was given the same honour for his service to defenders and managing to spend over £100m in 4 seasons and still not being realstic title contenders.

AW said "It is a great honour to be given this individual award, but as football is a team sport, I must give a great deal of credit and recognition to everyone that has helped me since I became manager of Arsenal in 1996. I'm looking forward to receiving the award in July and also to achieving more great things with Arsenal Football Club."

According to The Sun, Arsenal want Leeds pair Harry Kewell and Paul Robinson. These were the main targets outlined at a meeting of the Arsenal board early in the week. The Sun speculates that Ray Parlour could be used as part of the deal, while The Independent suggests that Jermaine Pennant plus cash could be used to buy Kewell. I would be surprised if he let Pennant go without giving him a chance, and it's more likely that Parlour, Jeffers or Gio would be used as makeweights in any deal.

However Jeffers says "I have three years left on my contract. I am happy to stay and fight for my place in the team.

Still little or no speculation regarding a decent centre-half though. It could be because negotiations are underway for Philippe Mexes, Jaap Stam, Edmilson, Lucio, John Terry, William Gallas, Gareth Southgate, Nesta, Cannvaro, Kevin Hofland, Gary Breen, Djimi Traore, Ivan Helguera, Roberto Ayala, Olaf Mellberg, Jean-Pierre Nomark or Philippe Senderos (delete where appropriate) and nothing is being leaked to the press because negotiations are at an advanced stage. We were expectng Philippe Senderos to join on June 1st, but no official announcement has been made as of yet.

There are lots of rumours about Arsenal signing a French defender from another Premiership club. Everyone is thinking Gallas. Could be Djetou, couldn't it - although tecnically we'd be signing him from Parma.. Gallas it is then. Or Hofland. Or Mellberg etc

Reserve team coach Eddie 'copy and paste' Niedzwiecki is confident that some of Arsenal's youth can make the breakthrough to the first team next season even if the standards being set for them are very high. "They have proved it at reserve team level, some have proved it when they go out on loan, now they have to prove it in the Premiership. This club wants to win the Champions League and the Premiership so those are the standards they know they have to get to.If they don't get to those standards then unfortunately they will not be Arsenal players."

Tough job kids. The usual suspects are mentioned. Pennant, Aliaidiere, Ryan Garry, Sebastian Svard and David Bentley.

Right, today I'm off to Camp Nou to negotiate a multi-million Turkish Lira transfer for myself. They're looking for a new carpark attendant, I can't drive. Should be fun.

june 12th

09.09 - It appears as if Arsenal have made a bid for Valencia's Spanish international goalkeeper Santiago Cañizares. It's been widely reported in the media here in Spain. Cañizares himself says "I know Arsenal have made an offer and I'm flattered by the interest but at the moment I'm only worried about playing well in the last two games of the season." The Spanish season still has a couple of games to go and Valencia are battling with Silvinho's Celta Vigo side for the final Champions League place. If they don't make it, it could mean a player clear out and we could sign the player who missed last year's World Cup after he dropped a jar of mayonaisse on his foot. Hell man, keepers these days just don't have any Kraft.


'Pennant threatens Arsenal exit' - 'Pennant's heads for Wenger showdown' - 'Pennant makes a stand'. Some of the headlines surrounding Jermaine Pennant's comments about his Highbury future. All a bit shock-jock to be honest. What he says is fair enough you'd have to think. "I feel that I'm good enough to play in the Premiership and, hopefully, I will next season. I've been patient but you can only be patient for so long. If I don't get my breakthrough then I'll have a word with the manager and ask him what he thinks of me. If he feels I'm not going to be used then I'll have to look elsewhere."

Can't argue with that really. The boy's got talent and he'd probably be a regular for 50%, if not more, of the teams in the Premiership at the moment. He got a start against Southampton, scored a hat-trick and did a lot to convince people he's got what it takes. I think if he works hard, he'll get his chance. It's up to him to take it when it comes. He seems to have learned his lesson after his well-documented night out last month. According to ex-Gunner and England Under-21 boss David Platipus Platt the third, "Every day he has worked very, very hard in training. He has been more focused in training and his two performances have been very good."

The FA are set to trial a sin-bin system for yellow cards this weekend. It's only happening in a Masters tournament for old bald ex-pros, but it's slightly worrying I have to say. They say "We can see the benefit in creating an advantage for the opposing team once a player has been yellow carded." Isn't the advantage the fact that a player has to be more careful and less commited (given today's referees) for the rest of the game? If you're playing against England isn't there every chance Michael Owen might dive and get the player another yellow card (Owen is a national hero by the way, Francis Jeffers is just a jug-eared diving cunt - you understand).

Sin-bins are a bad idea. Soon we'll have time-outs, stoppages for refs to look at video replays, temporary substitutions and all manner of things that have no place in football. Just say no.

Arsenal are after a young Norwegian defender called Brede Hangelund. Well, that's according to his agent. "I can confirm that a representative of Arsenal was present at Marienlyst (for an Under-21 international)" said Hangelund`s agent Jack Karadas. "I cannot say any more than that."

As my own agent I can confirm that I'm in talks with Arsenal about myself following my offer to the club on June 8th. I'm discussing a 4 year deal and as soon as I strike a deal that I'm happy with, I'll tell myself to sign for the Arsenal. It's all very easy this football agent business, you know.

june 11th

09.12 - Mornings are shit sometimes. Yawn. But at least we have something of an exclusive for you today.

new away shirt

What you see to your left there is what we believe will be the new Arsenal away shirt. Knowing Nike it's not going to be available until they've bent over and taken it every way Man Utd wants to give it to them, but all going well you should be able to pick it up sometime in July or August. 2007.

I like it I have to say. Back to proper yellow and blue, the way the Arsenal away kit should be. Of course the new cartoon logo makes it all look a bit cheap and nasty. It would be a great shirt with just the cannon, like the one to your right. Oh well, beggars can't be choosers. We should be just grateful they haven't given us some green or purple thing to wear next season. Thanks to forum regular RandomGoonerbird for scanning that from that catalogue she stole from Nike's headquarters.

This is one of those mornings where there isn't a scrap of Arsenal news around. Even the dodgiest of dodgy football sites have nothing new to reports. As you might imagine, this presents a small problem when you're trying to bring people Arsenal news every morning

Luckily for me the time I've spent doing this site has enabled me to build up some contacts and I have stored some info they've given me especially for days like this. So here's a bit of inside info you won't get anywhere else.

You hear Arsenal players talking all the time about the tricks and skills they see Dennis Bergkamp perform in training. One of the things they don't every tell you about is Greek central defender Stathis Tavlaridis' party piece. Standing on the penalty spot he kicks the ball as high as he can straight up in the air. When it comes down he volleys it up to the other end and into the goal. He can 'score' 8 times out of 10 with this trick.

Ex-Gunner Nelson Vivas spent 3 months wearing a cowboy hat because Tony Adams and David Seaman told him it was cool. Nelson only took it off for training and matches, but eventually had to throw it out because of limescale around the rim. Or something.

Before a match at THOF against Spurs, Ian Wright soaked a sponge in his own urine and rubbed down the away dressing room before the enemy arrived. Benches, pegs, sinks, taps, the whole lot. The entire Sp*rs team went out that day stinking of Wrighty's piss. Arsenal won 3-1.

Right, hopefully tomorrow we'll have real news so I can keep my secrets secret.

june 10th

09.31 - Somebody should tell the people at NewsNow that Matthew Upson doesn't play for Arsenal anymore, and that when I go to their site to find out the latest bits of Arsenal news, I don't want to read about a Birmingham City player. There are international games coming up this week. Jermaine Pennant will be in action for the U-21s while Ashley Cole will play for England against Slovakia.

Some centre-half news - according to some sources on the Arsenal-World message board, Wolves centre-half and weird faced dude Joleon Lescott had a medical with Arsenal yesterday. I don't know too much about him other than he looks scary enough to be a top class centre-half. Could be all bollocks though. Seeing as we've got Philippe Senderos joining, I would have thought AW would try and bring in an established centre-half rather than somebody young like this Lescott fella. Maybe the £2.50 he has to spend is a factor in this though.

Leeds have told Harry Kewell to make up his mind about staying and signing a new contract, or leaving Elland Road. Arsenal's interest in Kewell is dependent on Robert Pires signing a new deal. Leeds say "We want to get the matter resolved. I would expect discussions to start within a week."

A goalkeeping merry-go-round is proposed by Tribal Football as they say Arsenal could bid for Parma's Sebastian Frey. If Frey leaves, Parma will bid for Udinese's Morgan di Sanctis, also coveted by Arsenal according to his agent. The latest thinking is that Arsenal won't bother will a goalkeeper at all, leaving Taylor and Shaaban to fight amongst themselves (Planet of the Apes style) for the number 1 position. Arsenal will then spend all their transfer kitty on outfield players.

It's all gone very quiet at Arsenal though. This means one of two things:

  1. Something is about to happen. A transfer in or out, some kind of announcement by the club etc
  2. Nothing is happening at all. Nothing is going to happen for weeks. Everyone is sitting around THOF scratching their holes

Personally I suspect it's the latter. Although I would prefer a number 1, I think we'll all have to accept Arsenal are doing a number 2 at the moment.

And on that childishly scatological note....

june 9th

09.06 - Earlier in the week I was sure I saw Matt Bianco buying tuna steaks in the supermarket. Earlier in the year I was sat besdie Howard Jones in a café near Camp Nou, and this morning it seems that Ben from Curiosity Killed the Cat is moving into the house opposite mine. I'm not sure I understand, or like, this influx of 80s pop-stars to my neighbourhood.

As you might have gathered it's a slow news day. Maybe it's the calm before the storm before we get some really big news this week. Arsene Wenger is back from his holidays, we should find out if Pires and Vieira are going to sign new contracts, we should know who's going to be sold off.

Arsene Wenger has re-iterated his commitment to Arsenal saying "Those who think I am going to leave Arsenal don't know me well. I have officially affirmed my position which is to see out my contract until 2006 and I will stick to that." So that clears that up then. Again.

Normally I'll try and bring your stories from reasonably reputable publications or websites, but this morning there's so little happening that I have resorted to the 100 monkeys with 100 typewriters that is Tribal Football. In one story they claim we're making a double-swoop on Udinese for goalkeeper Morgan di Sanctis and midfielder Marek Jankulovski. In another story it's double-swoop on Juventus for Edgar Davids and David Trezeguet.

However, Arseblog can reveal all this is rubbish. We can exclusively reveal that one of the following central defenders will sign for Arsenal this summer: Philippe Mexes, Jaap Stam, Edmilson, Lucio, John Terry, William Gallas, Gareth Southgate, Nesta, Cannvaro, Kevin Hofland, Gary Breen Djimi Traore, Ivan Helguera, Roberto Ayala, Olaf Mellberg, Jean-Pierre Nomark or Philippe Senderos.

We can have a quick laugh at Liverpool as they solve the problem of having no width to their side by buying ...er...another right back. Houllier collects right-backs like George Graham used to collect centre-halves. Still, long may his reign on Merseyside continue, the boggly-eyed fool.

I'm off to make up some Arsenal news for tomorrow. See you then.

june 8th

12.34 - "My biggest fear is not who we will sign this summer, but who we will lose. I'm not worried about speculation over Arsene Wenger's future or even my own. My real concern is that Pires will go."

So says Patrick Vieira. You'd have to think that if he's saying something like this in public, then he's had some kind of conversation with Le Bob about his future in recent times. I suppose it would explain Arsenal's interest in Harry Kewell as well. Reading the back of the Express earlier, they report that Inter Milan want Pires and are prepared to offer big money and/or Arsenal's choice of top players - including Recoba, Christian Vieri, Marco Matterazzi and even Fabio Cannavaro.

I sincerely hope we hang onto Pires. I've heard people saying he didn't have such a great season, but he only started in October and scored 16 goals (I think) He's our second highest scorer. He does need to focus a bit more on the less exciting parts of the game such as his defensive responsibilities and sticking his foot in to make the odd tackle, but if anyone thinks Harry Kewell is going to come to Arsenal and suddenly be the kind of player who will work hard to protect his full back and chase back when we need him to, then think again. Pires is a special player, Arsenal need him. Fingers crossed he signs a new deal soon.

Turkish goalkeeper Rustu definitely won't be moving to Arsenal. He's slammed both Arsenal and Man United as 'amateurs'. He told Arsenal, "I'm not an 18-year-old unproven goalkeeper. I've been in the semi-finals of the World Cup and I'm not prepared to go through an audition to convince you to sign me." Or maybe he's just a make-up wearing cunt who isn't as good as he thinks he is. You decide. Back in August we were linked with an Argentine keeper called Sebastian Saja - he's linked again in the Telegraph.

More on Jaap Stam. Brett Emerton says 'come and get me' to Arsenal. Genius. Why didn't I think of that?

Arseblogger says 'come and get me' to Arsenal: "It would be an honour to play for Arsenal and I'd do it for £2,000 a week and I'll wash your car Mr.Wenger". I reckon the job is as good as mine.

june 7th

12.03 - A slow slow Saturday in close season. Not only is it close season, but the sheer boredom is added to by the fact there is international football on, hence a lack of any kind of club related news.

There's some boring crap story about Ken Bates giving David Dein a hard time over his FA role. It's about as interesting as 'The life and times of Phil Collins'. And erm...that's about it. So today we give you the chance to make your own Arseblog entry (fnarr).


Arsenal were today linked with {PLAYER NAME} who currently plays for {CLUB NAME}. {PLAYER SURNAME} says it would be an honour to join the Gunners but is worried that {CLUB NAME} might ask too high a price for him. He says "My agent is aware of Arsenal's interests and I would love to go there. I just hope {CLUB NAME} can agree a price."

On the way out of Highbury could be {ARSENAL PLAYER NAME} who has been linked with a move to {CLUB NAME}. {PLAYER SURNAME} hasn't played as much as he'd have liked last season and given the club's financial situation Arsenal could accept an offer of around {£X}. {OTHER CLUB NAMES} are also said to be interested.

Also on the way out could be {ARSENAL PLAYER NAME} who has been promised as a signing by {INSERT SPANISH NAME HERE} who is a candiate to become the new president of {SPANISH CLUB NAME}. {SPANISH SURNAME} says "I have already spoken with {ARSENAL PLAYER SURNAME}'s agent and he assures me that {ARSENAL PLAYER SURNAME} would jump at the chance to play for {SPANISH CLUB NAME}. I promise the fans of {SPANISH CLUB} that if I am elected {ARSENAL PLAYER NAME} will lead us to glory."

Arsenal are today reported to have made an offer for {CLUB NAME}'s star striker {PLAYER NAME}. {PLAYER SURNAME} is also attractng interest from Man Utd but {PLAYER SURNAME} would prefer to move to London. Arsenal have offered {CLUB NAME} their choice of {ARSENAL PLAYER NAME}, {ARSENAL PLAYER NAME} and {ARSENAL PLAYER NAME} plus £4m in cash to help seal the deal.


For those of you with a fertile imagination today has been a good news day.

At least tomorrow brings the kind of OTT transfer speculation that the Sunday papers can bring. Have a good one.

june 6th

08.53 - Plenty of news around today. I'm a bit suspicious about all this really. There's been lots to talk about recently but given the whole ying-yang balance of the universe crap, there's bound to be a slump sooner or later. Anyway, we shall crack on.

Stuart Taylor wants a chance to become Arsenal's number 1 keeper. He says "When I came here I had a dream, an ambition to be first choice at Arsenal. It looks certain we will be buying a goalkeeper but I am prepared to fight for my place"

Rami Shaaban wants a chance to become Arsenal's number 1 keeper. He says "I don't know if the club's finances will allow that they buy a new, truly established goalkeeper. If they buy someone who is not that experienced, it might be good for me."

Kanu wants a chance to become Arsenal's number ...er...wait. No, Kanu's going to decide his future when he comes back from playing for Nigeria. He says "I have plenty of offers from several clubs across Europe and Asia, but I have not really considered any of them." It seems the club want to sell and fans want to see him go. They point out the fact that he didn't play much and only scored 6 goals last season. Dennis Bergkamp played all season long and scored 9 goals. Fair enough, we could do with freeing up his wages and maybe getting a few quid of a transfer fee for him, but he's not the devil himself.

There have been whispers for a few days that Arsenal are interested in signing Jaap Stam from Lazio. Lazio are so poor they've reverted to the barter system in order to pay player's wages. Stam's only income in the last 6 months has been 342 sacks of grain, some half-crippled swine and a barrel of goat flavoured wine (times are hard I said). The Sun reckons £4m could capture the former United man. It'd be a good signing in my opinion - he's an experienced player, Champions League experience and himself and Sol would be a fairly formidable pairing. He's certainly a better option than some of the cut-price eastern-European Cygans we've been linked with.

Stephen Carr says he'll have to leave Sp*rs to play Champions League football. Well, duh. The Republic of Ireland defender could sign for Arsenal next week, 328 years after first being linked with the club.

Thiery Henry is a legend. Read this and you'll love the guy even more than you already do. "I know I'll be here next year and I'll be here for a long time. That's the most important thing."

Looks like I might have a new neighbour. If you're reading Dave, and I know you often do, I'll be quite happy to give you a hand. I don't have too much experience of buying big mansions and stuff, but if it's a delicious bocadillo de tortilla con jamon you're after, I'm yer man.

I'm hoping to have some kind of end-of-season review from Leopold shortly, but Leopold being Leopold he's taking it easy for the summer. In the words of his agent "I'll have a word with him, if I can tear him away from watching his Betamax copy of 'Fast Times at Ridgemount High'.

Right, move along now please. Nothing to see here.

june 5th

09.06 - And yet another era draws to a close today as Doris Cocknocker, the Arsenal tea lady, leaves to take on the role of catering manager at Man City after 51 years at the club. She's seen the good times, and the bad. The wonderful football of the Wenger era, the turgid tripe of Terry Neill's rein, the first double. The whole lot.

Doris the arsenal tea lady

Arsenal stars past and present paid tribute to Doris's sterling service over the years. Current skipper Patrick Vieira said "Doris is the best we've ever had. Doris wanted a new challenge so I can understand why she has gone but she'll never be forgotten here at Arsenal. She has done so much for the Club and her record speaks for itself."

Manager Arsene Wenger says "Doris is an Arsenal legend and deserves only the highest recognition for everything she has achieved for both club and country over the past 51 years. She is an outstanding professional and to lose someone of her calibre is a great loss to the Club. I, like many of our supporters, did not want Doris to leave but of course, I respect her desire to continue making tea and snacks and wish her every success in the future."

Former Gunner John Devine took time out from his busy concert schedule to tell us his memories of Doris. "Doris was bleedin' deadly man. As a young fella from Dublin I used to get homesick, but Doris was always there with a cup of scald and a decent biscuit. I'd talk to players at other clubs and all they got was a digestive and maybe a custard creme if they were lucky, but Doris had them all. Bourboun cremes, fig rolls, Garbaldis, Nice, rich tea, lemon puffs, coconut cremes and if you were really lucky you got a Penguin or a Wagon wheel. She'll be missed."

So long Doris. *sniff sniff*

Arsenal are linked yet again with Sp*rs full back Stephen Carr, with The Telegraph speculating a deal is almost done. If we do sign Carr I think it's a signal that Lauren could be on his way. Harry Kewell might stay at Leeds, but Man United still want him and now that they're selling Beckham to Barcelona/Real Madrid, they'll have enough money to buy every player in the world. Kewell, Ronaldinho, Crespo, Nesta, Toldo and Figo will all be signed by United this week.

However, The Times says Kewell has told friends he wants to move to Arsenal and is threatening to stay for another season at Leeds and then leave for nothing next summer. Leeds, not having two shillings to call their own, will sell. Arsenal have reportedly offered Leeds their pick of Parlour, Jeffers and van Bronckhorst as part of the deal.

Udinese keeper Morgan di Sanctis says "My agent told me he is aware of Arsenal's interest, though they have made no official enquiry yet." He was tipped to win his first Italian cap against Northern Ireland earlier in the week, but didn't get in the squad ahead of Buffon and Abiatti. Two other goalkeeping targets, Rustu and Peter Cech are being linked with Barcelona. Rumours in the Spanish press suggest that Arsenal could sign Santiago Cañizares from Valencia - a deal which hinges on whether or not Valencia pip Celta Vigo to the last Champions League place. The Spanish season still has about two weeks to go, so we shall see.

Hmmm, one of my cats has just appeared back in the house with what looks like some kind of scorpion. Excuse me while I bash it to death. The scorpion of course.

june 4th

09.04 - It's the end of anothe era at Arsenal today, as it becomes clear that David Seaman is set to leave the Gunners to go and play for Manchester City.

I have mixed feelings about it to be honest. Complete and utter indifference crossed with not giving a shit. He's been a great servant to the club for the past 13 years and has played a huge part in the success we've had. But he's nearly 40 years of age, and when you read this article in The Times it seems that Seaman's primary motivation is England and reclaiming the number 1 jersey. Forget 13 years at Arsenal. Forget the chance to become goalkeeping coach. Play for one more season at a crappy club so you can prove those nasty people in the press wrong and play for England again.

Arsene Wenger has always been a great backer of David Seaman - he's continued to choose him as Arsenal's number 1 when maybe some of us thought his time had passed. Sven Goran Eriksson has decided it's time England went with a younger keeper. Doesn't the fact that it's David fucking James in goal for England tell Seaman anything? Arsene Wenger has decided that Seaman would miss too many games with injury - he needs a number1 who will be fit for most of the season.

There's also the basic problem that at 40 years of age, your body is slower, reactions are slower - and I don't know about you, but it's been a long time since I've seen DS1 get off the ground to make a save. The spring in his legs is well and truly gone. Wenger said this about Seaman's retirement, "You never know yourself when it is time. You have to trust people who know and will tell you."

He should have retired after the FA Cup final in my opinion. For a player with so much pride, surely going out at the top with another winners medal at a club like Arsenal is preferable to playing on for a mid-table side like Man City? Playing behind Richard Dunne and Steve Howey will sure keep him busy, and it's most likely our memories of Seaman will be tainted by seeing him pick the ball out of the net time and again in Man City's shiny new stadium. I hope we win 8-0 when we go up there. That's terrible, isn't it?

All the same, I wish him well. I think he's making a mistake though.

Sylvain Wiltord fears he's going to made a victim of Arsenal's cash crisis. Our pointy-headed Stringer (that's striker crossed with Winger - works better than Winker) says "I would like to stay for another four years but we have not had many discussions about the contract so I am waiting to see what happens. It took me some time to settle but now I am very happy at the club and with my life in London and I would like to stay."

Yesterday's Sun carried a story which asked the anonymous Arsenal player to contact them over allegations sent in an anonymous fax. If it was anonymous, how do they know for sure it was an Arsenal player? It all stinks of piss and scuttery shit - a sure sign it's something to do with Marc Roger. It was only in the hard copy, the story wasn't carried online. If you want to make the Sun's day, why not send them a fax claiming to be this Arsenal player to : 02077824074 - outside the UK fax to :+442077824074

Might be good for a laugh. Anyway, we'll see if they have the balls to publish these 'allegations' but it does sound like some serious shit stirring is going on somewhere.

Amoruso - good stuff that.

Right, that's yer lot for now, anyone still affected with the 'POYC' image - see below. Later.

june 3rd

22.23 - It seems a lot of people are seeing this image all over the site instead of the normal images.

This is the image that people see when they try to steal images from this site to use on their own site, thus stealing my bandwidth. Anyway, it seems that there was an update to Norton Internet Security or something, and that's why lots of people are seeing this. Norton is fucking up your systems people.

To stop being told piss off and being called a cunt, follow these steps:

  • Click on the Norton Globe
  • Go to 'Privacy control' and then click on the 'custom' box
  • Uncheck the 'browser privacy' option and that should be that

Those instructions were kindly provided by furq who spent all morning wondering what he'd done to offend me. They're for Norton 3, but it should be more or less the same for all version. Now, piss off you cunts.

09.14 - Eras are great aren't they? Great chunks of time associated with a person or place or thing. The only bad thing is they have to end sometime. Yesterday saw the end of an era at Arsenal Football Club.

Super Oleg

Yesterday saw the end of the Oleg era at Arsenal. After 4 years at the club, and 108 appearances, our Ukrainian man mountain has been released on a free transfer. Signed from Dynamo Kiev in 1999, we all thought he was going to replace Lee Dixon at right full back.

We watched him shackle Overmars brilliantly in the Champions League and thought that if he could handle a player like that so well, the rest of the no-marks in the Premiership would be a piece of piss.

It didn't quite work out like that to be fair. He took some time to adjust to the English game. His appearances were fairly sporadic, but for the most part he was solid enough. He was sent off three times. Once against Wimbledon when he was last man, once against Blackburn for two yellows and once in the Champions League for flooring an opponent with a right hook. Legend.

As a special Oleg flavoured treat, here's a wallpaper of him being sent off against Blackburn.

Last season was probably his best at the club. Arsenal had defensive problems. Everytime somebody played left back, they got crippled. Oleg played right back, centre-half and left back to great effect. One storming performance at left back nearly resulted in what would have been his only Arsenal goal. He thundered down the left wing like a rampaging hippo, played a 1-2 with Bergkamp I think, did a Cruyff turn, nutmegged 4 players, did that thing where you flick the ball over your head with your heel, a couple of Kanu-esque body moves and he thundered the ball at the Newcastle goal. Shay Given was so scared he was jumping out of the way, but unfortunately for Oleg the ball hit him by accident so his goal tally for the Gunners remained 0.

I think it's great that his final appearance for the club was such a good one. Every pundit that day said 'Beattie vs Luzhny? No contest' - they were right. Hamster face didn't get a fucking sniff. So long Oleg, thanks for everything, and if you do go to Charlton, please don't score against us next season (unless we're winning 8-0).

I think this rules out the prospect of Harry Kewell playing for Arsenal. Young French centre-half Philippe Mexes says he's 'flattered' by Arsenal's interest in him. He would be a good signing in my opinion, young, talented, quick and could be a feature in the Arsenal defence for years to come.

Old Italian carthorse Lorenzo Amoruso has obviously been pissed since Rangers won the cup the other day. It's well known Blackburn have made an offer for him, but the Michael Bolton haired defender says that both Machester United and Arsenal want to sign him. "Yes, it's true, I have been told that both of these clubs are interested in signing me," said Amoruso. Yeah right, sounds like a Celtic fan has been making some prank phone calls. Two chances mate, and slim just left town.


That's it for today. The power of Oleg be with you.

june 2nd

08.57 - It's all a bit strange that the players we're being linked with at the moment are forwards. There's Harry Kewell, Claudio Lopez and now Sporting Lisbon's Ricardo Quaresma. He's been a target for Man United in recent months, especially since they brought in a Portuguese number 2, but that article reckons Arsenal could spend £6m on the 19 year old wonderkid.

At the end of the season AW said he was looking for a goalkeeper and a defender and that was it. Now we're linked to forwards all over the place. In recent years Arsenal have had a decent chunk of money to spend on transfers. We got £23m for Anelka one summer and £25m for Overmars and Petit the next. So when Arsene went shopping, everyone knew he had money to spend and set their prices accordingly. Does anyone else think the fairly public information about the transfer budget (odd from a club who keep their financial cards very close to their chest if at all possible) is a bit of smokescreen?

Maybe we've got more money to spend than people suggest, we're just not telling anyone about it. Or maybe that's something I've just made up really early in the morning. Still, it makes some sense if you think about it.

One goalkeeping target who won't be joining is Sebastian Frey, as he pledges to stay with Parma. Possible targets could be put off by the fact that David Seaman could sign a new 1 year deal with the club. We'll have to wait and see what terms he signs that deal under though, but he's stated he wants to be number 1, and I don't doublt he'd leave to get regular first team football.

And that's about all the news I can find this morning. Given that Arsenal didn't make their first signing until July last summer, June could be slower than Cygan.

Oooh, forgot to mention Scaryduck's May 26th 1989 story. So click here for Scaryduck's May 26th 1989 story. It's about May 26th 1989 and it's by Scaryduck.

june 1st

11.36 - Welcome to a brand new month on Arseblog.

It's officially summer, the transfer window is open and the action can begin. Firstly, clubs have used the transfer window's opening to list players that are no longer needed, and according to the Sunday Mirror the following Arsenal players will not have new contracts offered to them: Graham Barrett, Jermaine Brown, Oleg Luzhny, Guillaume Warmuz. We know Barrett has gone to Coventry, but for the others, they've got to spend the summer looking for a new club.

No sign of Dennis Bergkamp or David Seaman on the list, as according to an Arsenal spokesperson "..we did not list David or Dennis because both players are in negotiations over a new contract. Talks are ongoing and they are weighing up their options."


There's a big story with Marc Roger in today's News of the World about how he 'hates David Dein', which then goes on to make claims of meetings between Wenger and Perez at Sopwell House. Roger says that he is a 'great friend' of Wenger. Obviously that's why he's banned from Arsenal's training ground and his star client, Patrick Vieira, changed agents after the carry-on a couple of summers go. He also claims David Dein said he'd give him 10% of the Anelka transfer fee, then didn't pay him the £2.3m he'd promised. Like the club would offer the bloke who engineered Anelka's unrest 10% of the transfer fee.

The whole crux of this article though is how much Roger hates David Dein. If that's the case, why should we believe anything he says? He's got his gripes with the vice-Chairman, now he's stirring the shit to make life difficult for Arsenal. How many times does Arsene Wenger have to say he's staying until at least 2005 for these stories to stop?

Latest transfer info for you, Claudio Lopez could join for free from Lazio. They're broke, we could pay £40,000 a week to the Argentinian. Harry Kewell wants to go to Barcelona but his missus (whose family are all Arsenal fans) wants to stay in the UK for her TV career. Ferguson wants him to go to United, Kewell doesn't want to go there. Liverpool are buying Dribbly Cissy, so Kewell will join Arsenal. Or stay at Leeds. Or possibly move to Newcastle who want to sell Laurent Robert.

Hope that clears everything up. Have a nice Sunday, and if you see Marc Roger go shake his hand, then do that thing where you tickle their palm with your middle finger. That's minging. Or you could just run the cunt over.





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