David Dein left Arsenal Football Club irreconcilably differentiated. I still find that very hard to believe; in the way you feel dismay when people get divorced after 30 years of marriage. To be true, you have to presume that their paths were always persistently divergent; until one, or other, or both parties passed a sign saying “Beyond this point you will cross a divide into a world of fundamental difference to the one you have shared, from whence you may never return”. And “BEWARE”, as well, you know. As far as we all knew there was relative harmony amongst the big guns; they were all aiming in the same direction, so we thought. Hence the reason that we are only just starting to explore our feelings on the matter. Well, I’m here to help you through this difficult time. I hope to be midwife, as it were, to your revised conception of Arsenal Football Club.

The Classical trivium contains the three liberal arts: “Dialectic, Rhetoric and Grammar”. Or “arguing, nagging and politicking” as I like to think of them. I put them in that order myself based on how valuable I think they are for finding anything out from a person; as opposed to finding something out from wikipedia (which is a bloody wonder and has the added advantage that, by the time someone changes your entry, you have moved on and couldn’t give a shit anyway).

The way I see it, one can converse with another person who holds an opposing position, or one can browbeat them, or one can nitpick the living crap out of them; until you either notice - mid-sentence - that you are alone, or you notice - possibly also mid-sentence - that you appear to have been shot in the chest. Basically that is the order of diminishing returns.

We don’t have much time for the dialectic in Britain (logical positivists get on cross channel ferries every summer to start rucks with any poncey European epistomologists who even look at them in a slightly Hegelian way). But I like to have a dialectic with myself whenever I’m presented with something where I haven’t automatically taken an instinctive position based on the natural prejudices of my birth, upbringing and allegiances. It works like this*:

*Although I could be wrong. If I am, blame wikipedia and a polytechnic education that failed to properly fund the arts - on the basis that THEY were not going to help anyone who didn’t want to work for British Aerospace, in case they might be insane.

I posit a hypothesis,
I (in the absence of anyone else to do it) then suggest an antithesis,
I refute the antithesis,
I refute the hypothesis,
We carry on until we achieve synthesis (or die trying, or we get slightly hung up over what I might mean by the word “we”, and here comes the lithium again, see you next week).

So let’s start.

Me: The hypothesis I propose is that Arsenal would be a damn sight better off without David Dein, Stan Krankee and Stan Krankee’s millions. I take it that you accept by now that those millions are the reason we are not expecting someone to pop down to Interflora and make things right again. Irreconcilable was the word and that is, like, really serious. That’s creosoted Porsche Boxster and suitcase of scissored underthings strewn upon the lawn territory. David had his head turned.

Me2: David Barry Charles Dein is a highly orange businessman with a very substantial eye for a bargain, or better still a main chance with the word “Bargain” stencilled on it. He sees things well before the competition and gets his ducks lined up so early they can quack the national anthem in four-part harmony. May I present in evidence Exhibit’s A, B and C, namely: Arsenal FC circa 1983, one M. Arsene Wenger, and, ahem, only the Premier League. Dein’s judgement is impeccable.

Me: I can pecc it. Considering he started in business in the early sixties, London and Overseas (Sugar) was in so vulnerable a position by the mid 80’s that when a trading partner went bust they nearly went under with it. Those Arsenal shares came in very handy to bail the whole thing out.

Me2: Every creditor was paid in full. And even if he made that repayment from the sale of Arsenal shares, so what? Those shares were worth peanuts when he first bought into the club, but were enough to cover major debts just a few years later. The blokes shrewder than Doctor Who with a copy of next weeks’ Racing Post.

Me: The old “Arsenal would be nothing without Dein” argument, eh? Rather think the club did alright before him and will do alright without him in the years to come.

Me2: Think about when he came in though. Not exactly tearing up trees were we? And the decision to get in Wenger alone was crucial.

Me: We’ve had great managers before Wenger as well. Sacrilege, but I’ve said it. Who wouldn’t want to manage AFC?

Me2: Part one of your hypothesis was that we’d be better of without Dein. Who’s going to find us the next Arsene Wenger then?

Me: Good point. My answer would be, erm, Arsene Wenger. For a start he is going to be appointing the next David Dein.

Me2: Touche, mon brave. Have I mentioned by the way how devastatingly handsome you are?

Me: You have. And I adore you for your good taste. May I also say what a fine talented bunch of people mighty Dein left behind. Not exactly a bunch of mugs. And Dein wasn’t even the gaffer at Arsenal, so I think they’ll cope. He was only ever the actual gaffer at L&O and G14. He didn’t preside over Arsenal, even with 42%. He didn’t preside over the FA either no matter how much he wanted to (in fact he actually chose Barwick). The G14 post relied on his being a representative of Arsenal. So that’s up the river too. Basically Dein is not the boss of me, or you either, you dashing fellow, or anyone we know. His flame just puffed out. The kingmaker will never be king.

Me2: Agreed they are a fine bunch. Plenty of them could be Emeritus Professor of Shrewd at Astute University. Dein pushed at an open door. But he took the club forward by force of will and personality. He bestrode Arsenal like a colossus mounted side-saddle on a behemoth standing on a giant skateboard towed by leviathans. I mean to say Dein WAS Arsenal FC for most of the Premier League era….

Me: …Wenger

Me2: …Dein

Me: …Wenger

Me2: …Dein

Me: Let’s call the whole thing off

Me2: OK but Dein was certainly Mr Arsenal when it came to other fans. Why else were they so riled at him sitting on the FA board. They didn’t trust him not to be biased; that’s because he sees the world in Red and White. And the board might not have made half of the decisions they did without him, and they might not make a load more important ones now.

Me: Good. Arsenals reputation is built on sound judgement and doing things the right way. Dein was impetuous and a gambler. He was lucky enough to be right about a few big things, but Arsenal were luckier that he wasn’t wrong is the better way to put it. He could have dragged them all over the place. It’s better if one person doesn’t get his own way. Look at what Arsenal achieve when they work together. In fact isn’t that the whole point of team sports?

Me2: Putting the ball in the net at the end of your intricate teamwork is pretty important as well (in case any first teamers happen to browse Arseblog)

Me: Bitch!

Me2: There is a point. Goalscorers are essential in a football team. The board now has only keepers and defenders.

Me: Teams full of defenders seem to be profiting pretty well at Arsenals expense recently.

Me2: Don’t be so naïve. Football moves fast. Dein kept us at the leading edge by buildng a network of contacts in Europe and amongst the powerbrokers in the game. He chatted everyone up. The G14 people think that when they open the curtains each morning the brightness illuminating them can only be the glow of his spectacular tan (or something shining out of some other bit of him).

Me: His reputation was in decline. Once Crozier went he couldn’t make the FA see reason any more. The drip-drip-drip about a conflict of interest in his position at the Association and the general (never actually voiced for fear of a lawsuit ) suspicions that maybe he was involved in some shady dealings (mates with Asil Nadir's kid?), were constant. They finally hoisted him up on a pretext over Scolari’s u-turn. They found it pretty easy to do so as well. And they timed it to perfection; with us mired (thanks to Dein himself) over false allegations by the BBC of impropriety regarding the transfer arrangements with FC Beveren being in breach of FIFA rules. He’s supposed to have been friendly with UEFA, but they never came to his rescue. That’s Auntie, Paxman, The Belgian Rozzers, UEFA, FIFA, his mates on the FA Board and Big Phil all giving him a kicking at the same time. No one rallied round; they were all looking up at the vultures.

Me2: He’s still a UEFA rep and an FA council member actually and still a major Arsenal shareholder. And he has also been proved right about the England manager’s job…belatedly. McLaren is a muppet. Scolari was the right man for the job, and has now stated publicly that he wanted it, but it was just the wrong time to ask. As indeed it is for Arsene Wenger. And actually for any sane person with aspirations to manage our international football team. Masochists and escaped mental patients are the only people that need apply when McLaren goes.

Me: True. We have achieved synthesis of a sort. Mclaren is a muppet. But you will note I said we don’t need Dein and Krankee and Krankee’s millions. I think Dein could still offer a great deal to Arsenal if he’d drop the latest BIG IDEA and realise he has overreached himself for once, that they aren’t coming with him, and that he should back down.

Me2: Too late. He’s a proud man. And he’s also convinced he’s right about this one. He reckons AFC should be floated on the FTSE.

Me: It’ll be floating down the Yangtse if this weather keeps up. A mozzie bit me on the nipple last night. Swelled up to the size of a 5 pence piece. I say you can’t tell what the future holds. Best to keep a firm hand on the tiller and steer midstream.

Me2: We’ve done private deals to build our stadium right? That’s the mortgage bit. Then we pushed back the terms of this thumping great debt just to make the repayments more affordable. That’s the “Oh Shit. Call Ocean Finance and ask to speak personally to Carol Vorderman” bit. The bit that comes next, if memory serves, is a bloke called Nozzer comes round in a van and takes the telly, the sofa and the DVD recorder … through the window … without first acquainting himself with how to go about opening the window.

Me: We’re not in the shit. We’re not even feeling damp and embarrassed. The ugly flats are filling up. The nice ones they’ll make out of Highury, Gawd Bless ‘er, have sold out too. The new stadium is making good money and is chockablock most weeks, especially with the middle tier sodding off early for half time soggy overpriced pizza. And we hardly spend anything on the team. I mean how much does twenty single cones with flakes cost?

Me2: No European trophy in the Premier League era and for the last two years we’ve toyed with not even being in the CL. We needed West Ham to help us last year. We’re still a point off it this time whilst our three rivals from the top four league spots are filling three of the four CL semi-final places. All have mega bucks backing and can compete with the European big boys. Who fills that fourth spot will depend on who has the balls, and the dosh to backup the balls in case someone isn’t quite impressed enough with the balls. Aston Villa have taken the plunge. Blackburn already know what a few quid can do. Newcastle will milk their fans dry for another taste. Bolton and Everton are snapping at our heels with their selection of meatheads and mercenaries — imagine what someone could do if they gave Sam and Dave some proper money to spend. As for Spurs, they are such whores. They’d take anyone’s money just to win a game against us. You really think we can be left behind covering our manhood with our integrity?

Me: We won’t be left behind. We have to trust the team we have now. And there are two very good reason’s why. First, if we sell our club to Stanley Krankee, that means it’s Stanley Krankee’s club then, not ours. And second because if he borrows like he’ll have to to get his hands on Arsenal, then the club will actually belong to an investment bank. The money borrowed from the banks will only be used to buy the available shares at inflated prices, not to buy players. The money we pay to watch Arsenal will then be used to pay them back - at steepling interest - again not to buy players. You might as well stop supporting Arsenal (unless you already support banks the way you do football teams, in which case, erm, come on the HSBC). Because you will be holding in one hand a receipt for your birthright , and in the other a mess containing three heaped tablespoons of pottage. Chelsea isn’t Chelsea. It’s a mad maslenitsa Russian firework that has gone off trajectory. Liverpool isn’t Liverpool, it’s The Liverpool Reds Franchise. Manchester United isn’t Manchester United, it’s a big debit on Morgan Stanley’s account book. Whilst they all continue to make money or amuse their patrons, fine. But fans have been hit by shits much harder than Eric Cantona in football and the examples are all around never-relegated-Arsenal: Leeds United, Nottingham Forest, Derby County, Coventry City.

Me2: Some of those are down there because they didn’t keep pace with changes in the Prem. That’s my point. The winds of change blows straight into the face of time. Like a stormwind that will ring the freedom bell for peace of mind. Let your balalaika sing what my guitar wants to say.

Me: I win.

Me2: Not the "No Scorpions Lyrics" Rule?

Me: Yep

Me2: Fuck it. Another game?

Me: Just a quick one

Me2: Wenger and Tel going to leave?

Me: Tel might consider it I suppose. He and Darren are chums and if Dein isn’t involved it might make Darren less inclined to encourage his client to stick with the Gunners. The Boss won’t go though. Integrity is actually his middle name. Arsene Integrity Wenger.

Me2: Probably right.

Me: ‘course I am

Me2: That Godot bloke showed up yet?

...then Ian Wright has a brand new radio show on Talksport and a bit of of publicity is always good.

Does it really matter to the players who the vice Chairman of the club is? Not really. I'm sure some of them have a good relationship with him but what difference does it make at the end of the day? None.

Has Ian Wright spoken to Arsene Wenger to boldly state that he is 100% behind David Dein? My arse he has.

Does Ian Wright have a good relationship with David Dein? You might cast your mind back to when Ian Wright didn't take kindly to being disciplined by Bruce Rioch when he was in charge of Arsenal. Who did he go to in order to bitch and moan? That's right, David Dein. So no ulterior motive there then.

Wright was an amazing player for Arsenal but don't think this story is anything more than a way of using his Arsenal connection to make headlines for his radio show which, in case you forget, is on Talksport - the audio version of the National Enquirer or, to put it another way, a great load of cat shit.

Arsenal Holdings plc - Directorate changeArsenal Holdings plc (the "Company") announces that David Dein has left
Arsenal Football Club and has ceased to be a director of the Company.

Peter Hill-Wood, Chairman of the Company, would like to express his gratitude
for the many years of loyal service given by David Dein to Arsenal Football
Club and regrets that irreconcilable differences between Mr. Dein and the rest
of the board have necessitated a parting of the ways.

In light of recent speculation as to the ownership of the Company, the
remaining Board members (together, the owners of 45.45% of the issued share
capital of the Company) would like to reassure the shareholders, employees and
fans of Arsenal Football Club that they remain long-term holders of their
interests in the Company.

To this effect, they have entered into an agreement not to dispose of their
interests in the Company for at least one year and have confirmed that they
intend to retain their interests on the expiration of this period.

Arsenal Holdings Plc.
18 April 2007

The reason behind is departure is speculative at the moment but from what I've been told Dein wanted to sell up to Kroenke, the others weren't having it. More on tomorrow's main blog.

I've received some further information regarding the rumoured white shirt as next year's away kit.

One bit of info claims the entire kit will be white (shirt, shorts and socks) with no red at all while another says that due to the negative publicity the club are now trying to have red incorporated into the sleeves or on the shirt somewhere.

Wherever the truth lies there's far too much smoke for their not be some fire regarding this story. I know some people have set up online petitions but I would suggest that if you feel strongly about this issue you should write directly to the club. They'll take much more notice of a physical letter than they will do of any online activity regarding this matter.

I would suggest addressing your letters to David Dein ane expressing your disappointment/outrage at the white shirt and make it clear that you won't be purchasing any Arsenal kit in that colour.

Address your letters to:

Arsenal Football Club
Highbury House
75 Drayton Park
London N5 1BU
England

Do we want to look like Spurs just because some Nike goon thinks the novelty of Arsenal in a white kit might sell a few more shirts? No, we do not.

A small article in today's El Mundo Deportivo suggests that Arsenal are set to snatch another Catalan youngster but this time it's from Barcelona's neighbours Espanyol.

The full text reads:

Chupamé to follow in footsteps of Fabregas and Merida

Jaime Gerard Chupamé, the 16 year old right full back, will join Arsenal this summer after impressing Arsene Wenger in a two week trial at Arsenal's training ground in recent weeks. He will join his fellow Catalans Cesc Fabregas and Fran Merida at the London club.

Arsenal have again taken advantage of the contractual difficulties faced by Spanish clubs with regard to young players but Espanyol have not ruled out making an appeal to UEFA to block the transfer. The situation is similar to that of Sergio Tejera who joined Chelsea from Espanyol last summer and the Blanquiazules will be furious if another hot prospect is allowed to leave for nothing.

Chupamé won't feature immediately for the first team but he will be encouraged at the chances given to young players at the Gunners.