May

31

Fiction Factory

Filed Under The Arsenal | 574 arses

Hello again and there’s a small bit to get through although most of it is utter crap.

Yesterday Marca released a story saying that Barcelona were offering Arsenal £17m + Samuel Eto’o for Thierry Henry. Can you imagine? Honestly, I’m sure they did that just to annoy El Mundo Deportivo. If they were offering that then they would obviously have lost their minds and much as I love Thierry that’s a deal that’s too good to turn down. Total fiction though.

As is Marca’s suggestion this morning that Arsene Wenger could take over at Barcelona should Frank Rijkaard leave. Wait for it. Wenger linked to Barcelona. Who will he bring with him? Cesc and Henry, no question. heh. They really do operate on the monkeys/typewriters agenda.

The Daily Mail suggested that Inter Milan would try and buy Henry for around £15m. It really does look like we’re in for a long, tedious summer of transfer speculation and this is barely the start of it. The Spanish papers have jumped all over Henry’s ‘I’m an Arsenal player for now’ quote which, if accurate, is rather a change in outlook from ‘How many more times do I need to say I’m staying’ but I’d we all know how things can be misinterpreted and with all of us having nothing better to do all day than analyse everything that’s said in great detail it’s no wonder we too can be guilty of putting 2 and 2 together and getting 5.

Arsenal made public details of our pre-season plans yesterday which include the Austrian training camp, the Amsterdam Tournament with games against Nazio and Ajax and the inaugral Emirates Cup to be played at home with matches against PSG and Inter Milan. That’s a decent way to get yourself warmed up for the new season, no doubt about it.

Tomas Rosicky is back on track having had four wisdom teeth out. There’s a feeling that problems with teeth can affect other parts of the body so maybe that’ll stop his hamstrings being so Oweny. He’s also dismissed transfer talk which is good because I’d love to see a fully fit Rosicky get a good run in the side next season.

There’s confusion over Emmanuel Adebayor’s international return as he claims he never received a ‘Please come back, all is forgiven’ letter from the Togonian FA whereas they say he got it but sent it straight back to them. I’m confused? Are you confused? Good. Let’s be confused together. Not so close though. Thanks.

Justin Hoyte has been called up to the England U21 squad.

And that’s that. Now, I must away and try and put together an Arsecast out of nothing. Nothing I tells ya.

May

30

Levante hold a candle for Carlos

Filed Under The Arsenal | 642 arses

Goodness it’s quiet again although there are whispers whispering that there might be something happening on the transfer front sooner or later. Only whispers at this stage and it would do nobody any good for me to repeat them.

A couple of young players are in the news this morning. Firstly, Levante want Carlos Vela on loan next season. The young Mexican had a very good season at Salamanca and while there was talk of him coming to Arsenal a bit early it seems more likely he’ll step up a division in Spain. Levante, the second club in Valencia, would be a decent option for him. They’ve secured Primera Liga status for the season ahead and will give him a greater opportunity of first team football. Obviously the first idea would have been for him to stay with Celta Vigo, the club with which Arsenal have a partnership, but not even Hristo Stoichkov’s arrival as manager saved them from the drop.

Arturo Lupoli is looking forward to starting his new career with Fiorentina. Erm, that’s about it. It’s a shame he never made it at Arsenal. Can you imagine 60,000 people howling like wolves every time he scored a goal? That would have been awesome.

Frank Ribery, a long term target for Arsenal if you believe the press, has said his future will be known by the weekend. Marseille have admitted he’s up for sale but if we want him there’s competition from Bayern Munich and Real Madrid.

Youngster Giorgios ‘George Michael’ Efrem has joined Rangers. Stop that. Come on. Don’t cry. It’ll be all right. I know, I know. There, there.

Thierry Henry speaking at some promotional thing in China:

Since I started playing football, there’s been speculation about me going to a lot of clubs so that will never stop. As I said last week, for now I’m an Arsenal player.

He says he’s getting annoyed that we’re finishing at the wrong end of the top 4. Shock horror. He’s obviously leaving. I was talking to a mate of mine in Barcelona the other day and he said that he saw Henry talking to a newsagent and has already set up delivery of the Daily Mail, the NME and Model Train Enthusiast to his new home. Henry has actually bought the amusement park at the top of Tibidabo and when he’s not playing will survey the city with a giant crown on his head from the Ferris wheel going round and round and round and round and round…

And there you have it my good old friends.

May

29

Gilberto in Brazil squad for Copa America

Filed Under The Arsenal | 428 arses

Morning all, apologies for the late blog and I wish the lateness was due to the amount of news I’ve got to sift through but no such luck, I’m afraid.

There are links to Ribery, Benni McCarthy and Reo-Cockhead but they come from sources as reliable as a 1974 Skoda and are as trustworthy as a politician called Bertie.

You know it’s bad when the biggest story of the morning concerns Celtic wanting former Swegyptian keeper Rami Shaaban (bless you). Nothing in the Spanish rags, nothing in the English rags, nothing anywhere. It’s so bad that even some of yesterday’s stories are on this morning’s Newsnow which is usually chock full of splogs with the same story (Suzanne, what about that phone call the other week?! Still nothing. Can you help, please? I’ll call again!!).

Of course I could invent something but that would be wrong. I could sit here and wait for something to happen but we could be here a long time and I know you want you daily dose of fresh Arse because you all love the Arse.

Oh, wait! Found something. Gilberto has been included in the provisional Brazil squad for the upcoming Copa American to be played in Venezuela this summer. That’ll mean him not getting as much rest as the boss might like as the squad is due to meet up on June 12th in Brazil before travelling to Venezuela on the 20th.

And that’s it. Pray to your Gods for Arsenal news tomorrow.

May

28

Liam Brady on Arsenal’s transfer targets

Filed Under The Arsenal | 223 arses

So, erm…did you have a good weekend then? I had quite a good weekend, so I did. I went some places, did some things, talked to some people, drank some beers, took some painkillers the next morning, then did it all again. When will I ever learn?

So what’s going on in the world of Arsenal then? Not much it seems. Mathieu Flamini has had a little bit of a moan about not playing in cup finals and while I don’t really get the complaint about the FA Cup final I can understand about the Champions League. Although he and Senderos had both picked up knocks preceding it I think they both should have started that game. Certainly they deserved to after their great performances contributed so much in getting us there and when you think it was Cuntley Cunt and BFS who took their places it must have been hard.

His falling out of favour with Arsene surprised me a bit, I have to say. His attitude and energy in the midfield was always well appreciated even if the technical side of his game wasn’t quite as good as it might have been. It’ll be interesting to see where he ends up.

Liam Brady talking about Arsene Wenger’s transfers this summer in his Sunday newspaper column here:

I think he will add a little more steel to the squad. Arsenal probably need two or three new players and with the club not in a position to throw money around you might see Wenger targetting a couple of pros who’ve already had the experience of winning trophies.

Interesting. I wonder does this mean targets have been targetted. Are we looking at Suker type signings rather than super signings?

Carlos Tevez wants to stay in England, apparently. Do we need another striker? Probably. Would he fit the bill? Yes, sir. Would Arsenal get involved with Kia Joorbachian and the complicated way that Tevez is owned? Probably not. I think he’d be a great addition to the squad and he could replace Robert Pires or Freddie as the Arsenal dreamboat. He is dreamy.

That aside there appears to be little else to be going on with so I shall bid you good day.

May

27

A tale of two keepers

Filed Under The Arsenal | 165 arses

Might I begin the morning with a hearty *boilk*? It does wonders for one’s stomach although I can still taste last night’s curry.

Not a lot to tell you about this morning. It’s a tale of two goalkeepers. Firstly Arsenal confirmed the news that Arseblog brought you weeks ago - that we have signed Lukasz Fabianski from Legia Warsaw. Arsene Wenger said:

We are pleased to have signed Lukasz Fabianski. He is a very good young goalkeeper who will provide good support to our squad. He has performed consistently well for Legia Warsaw in recent seasons and was rightfully rewarded with a place in the Polish World Cup squad. Lukasz will be a big asset our squad and we are looking forward to him joining us for pre-season.

Fabianski said the usual about great to be joining a big club, wants to win things with Arsenal etc etc. He’s certainly got a bit of pedigree and he’s the right age. For a number of seasons now I’ve thought we should be looking to bring in a keeper who can, all things going well, end up between the sticks for the next 10 years. He’ll provide competition for Jens Lehmann next season and with Jens looking to play in Euro 2008 that kind of competition is good.

On the way out though is Mart Poom. He’s joined Watford and I think I’m right in saying he’s never conceded a goal for Arsenal. He did only make a couple of appearances though. Good luck to him.

The People says Peterborough will sign young striker Jay Simpson who made history by scoring the first ever hat-trick at The Grove.

And that’s that. A truly exciting edition of Arseblog over and done with. I hope it didn’t cause too many palpatations.

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