Feb

28

Same crap, different day from pathetic FA

Filed Under The Arsenal | 1136 arses

Right, so let’s start with the FA and their brand of unconventional wisdom (otherwise known as cuntstrousness). We’ll go through it player by player.

Kolo Toure - Immediate three match ban.

Emmanuel Adebayor - His appeal against his red card was dismissed and he will serve a three match ban. He is, however, allowed to appeal the charge of reacting aggressively and failing to leave the field of play immediately after being sent off. While I completely understand his frustration, there’s really no way he can appeal this. He didn’t leave the field immediately and he did react aggressively.

Obviously the FA have seen something in the video which they feel warranted a straight red for Adebayor. It seems likely that he’ll get at least another game on top of the three match ban. He has until 6pm this evening to appeal if he chooses to do so.

Emmanuel Eboue - He has been charged with violent conduct and has until 6pm this evening to appeal, again if he and the club choose to do so. No matter how pathetic Bridge’s histrionics - which really should have been punished as well in my opinion - Eboue did raise his hands and looks set to miss three games.

Also, both Arsenal and Chelse have been charged with misconduct for failing to ensure good conduct from their players.

Now, again we’re seeing the FA blow something way out of proportion. Were any punches thrown? No - I’m not counting Eboue’s incident with Bridge as a punch and both players should be absolutely mortified at their behaviour. Were there any karate kicks? No. Strangling? No. Knees in the bollocks? No.

What happened with Toure and Mikel could easily have been dealt with by issuing a yellow card each. Lampard might look back and consider that he rather overreacted to the whole thing and that sparked the further pushing and shoving but overall there was nothing particularly violent about the whole thing. Nevertheless we have three players facing bans of 10 games between them with Eboue’s three matches to be added when he gets banned.

That’s 13 games over a bit of handbags. It’s an absolute nonsense. As well as that the FA have been presented with two glorious opportunities this past weekend to deal with theatrics and show that they have no place in the game. Firstly Wayne Bridge - why can’t some retrospective punishment be handed out to him for his acting? Yes, Eboue touched him, but it certainly wasn’t enough to make a grown man fall down and Bridge looking around to see where the officials were before he fell tells you everything you need to know about it. Cheating. Punish him.

The other incident was Steven Gerrard’s calculated and deliberate dive to win a penalty against Sheffield United. Steve Bennet was looking straight at him but Steve Bennet is rubbish and didn’t take the chance to book Gerrard. The FA could have shown then that diving and simulation is wrong but they didn’t.

They prefer the very public posturing and chest-thumping that follows an incident which has been blown out of all proportion by the media. The same way they dolled out massive fines for Arsenal after the Old Trafford incident in which very little happened in reality. There was a bit of snarling, a bit of pushing and quick strangle of Phil Neville (and how amongst us hasn’t wanted to choke Phil Neville?) but no punches or slaps. That doesn’t stop the Times saying ” In a stern statement that violent conduct will not be tolerated…”. Rubbish.

All the while, week after week, serious violent play is punished in exactly the same way. There has to be a change. There has to be a sliding scale for so-called violent conduct because you can’t tell me that what Adebayor did merits the same ban as someone who deliberately elbows an opponent or goes over the top of the ball two-footed to hurt another player. Now, I don’t like Chelsea as much as the rest of you, but tell me why Mikel should serve a four match ban for what happened on Sunday. The whole thing is fucking ludicrous.

I also had to laugh at referee’s chief, Keith Hackett, who must be the most deluded man in the world. He said about Howard Webb and his assistants:

Howard and his assistants had a good game. They dealt calmly and firmly with it and after consultation Howard took appropriate action.

Howard and his assistants, to my mind, lost control of the game early on. When he booked Denilson for a nothing challenge and failed to book Diarra for a blatant foul on the edge of the box he lost it. When he decided that Essien’s studs-up lunge on Baptista was worth the same punishment as Denilson he lost it - although here he’s a victim of the shit system. By any standards those two incidents deserve different punishment. Maybe three yellows should equal red in these days of bookings for nothing. Anyway, Chelsea, experienced and well drilled team that they are, cynically and effectively fouled and blocked and obstructed their way through the second half.

This is not necessarily a criticism of Chelsea, it worked for Mourinho at Porto, it’s working at Stamford Bridge, but the constant poor decisions by the ref certainly contributed to Arsenal’s frustration which contributed to them reacting, badly, when the incident took place. While the FA are quick to come down hard on the clubs, which is the easy thing to do, they never look at any of the underlying factors like poor officials and bad decisions which are generally factors in incidents like this.

How the game and standard of officiating is ever supposed to improve when you have witless apologists like Hackett defending officials I just don’t know. Anyway, this seems to be a point that comes up time and time again with no sign that anything is ever going to change. Thankfully we have another game tonight so we can just forget about this and the bullshit decisions that come from the FA. A bit of siege mentality never hurt us and the players feeling like they’ve been dealt a raw deal won’t really do us any harm. As Arsene Wenger points out we’ve been near the top of the fair play table, we are the most fouled team but one little incident has people sharpening their pointing sticks to poke us with. Fuck ‘em.

It looks like we’re going to be down to bare bones for the FA Cup replay against Blackburn. As well as being with the suspended Toure and Adebayor we’ll be missing Henry (foot injury), Rosicky, Diaby and Cesc who will be rested. There are also doubts over Djourou, Flamini and Clichy.

With van Persie also injured it looks like Baptista and Aliadiere will start up front and it’s time for both of them to show they have goals in them. Baptista in particular is running out of time to show he’s worthy of a permanent deal but I have to say I’d be surprised if he stayed once his loan deal was over.

Thierry Henry says he’s never seen a player adapt to the English game as quickly as Denilson. The young Brazilian looks completely at home in this Arsenal team and he’ll more than likely start tonight against Blackburn. He also backs the manager when he says he has no fear playing young players after their Carling Cup exploits. They’ve shown they can be relied on whether it’s a Carling Cup game or a league game or a Champions League game, they have the quality. Let’s hope they can do it tonight. I do love the FA Cup and it’s always a nice trophy to win.

Finally, don’t forget if you have anything to say about anything that’s gone on in the last week you can get in touch with the Arsecast sponsored by Savile Rogue. There are two of their great scarves to be won for the best email or audio message so get to it.

Finally, those Cesc to Madrid stories you keep hearing about. Besides the denial from the player himself you just know it’s more bullshit from Real Madrid as they look to deflect attention away from the fact they’re a complete and utter shambles. Also, there’s a very nice piece in the Times about him. I wonder what his favourite websites are?

And that’s it. Here’s to a good win tonight.

Feb

27

Carling Cup fallout - Arseblog is 5 today!

Filed Under The Arsenal | 625 arses

Ok, let’s have a quick look at what’s happening.

After the Carling Cup shennanigans Arsenal have appealed against Emmanuel Adebayor’s red card on the basis of mistaken identity. Obviously that means they’ll have to provide evidence against Eboue but I know which player I’d rather lose for three games. As you can see from this video Eboue’s actions, while not particularly vicious, were undeniably stupid while Wayne Bridge really out to be ashamed of himself. His theatrics were pathetic. However, the Sun reports that Adebayor could still face a ban for allegedly raising his hands to Ricardo Carvalho and for not leaving the pitch when shown the red card. We’ll just have to wait and see what happens there.

Meanwhile Kolo Toure has apologised for his actions which saw him get sent off. Of course there were headlines yesterday about the ‘Snarling Cup’ final but it’s just typical media overreaction - Henry Winter, someone that I’ve always had some time for, makes a complete fool of himself with these hysterics. Get a fucking grip, Henry, your hand-wringing and mock sensibility is as pathetic as Wayne Bridge and Emmanuel Eboue Three Stooges act. It was hardly anything to write home about and it was just a cynical Chelsea trap that we fell into and ended up wasting most of the injury time. We’ll live and learn, I hope.

Arsene Wenger is still happy he made the right decision with regards his team while Cesc says other teams should be scared of the talent Arsenal have coming through.

There was confirmation of Abou Diaby’s ankle injury, the one which Dan Smith shattered last year, when he kicked John Terry’s face. How typical that Terry makes a full recovery and can go carousing around nightclubs while Diaby looks set to be out for some time. One thing Chelsea fans can be thankful of though is the fact that one of their scumbag fans might just have saved Terry’s life. Gary Lewin was behind our goal having treated Manuel Almunia who had been hit by something thrown from the crowd. Terry was turning as blue as his shirt before Lewin stepped in to save the day.

Speaking of Manuel Almunia there’s interest in him from Spain as Villarreal want to bring him home in the summer. “He is a priority for us”, they say. Elsewhere Arturo Lupoli will return to Italy in the summer after signing a deal with Fiorentina.

There’s no real team news about tomorrow’s FA Cup replay against Blackburn yet but obviously we’ll be without the suspended Toure and whoever else gets a ban. How sporting it was of Mark Hughes to call one of the Chelsea backroom staff minutes after the Carling Cup final to ‘thank’ them for getting our players sent off. I really hope we go there and stuff them, the horrible fuckers. A more detailed preview tomorrow.

Finally for today I hope you’ll raise a glass and say cheers as Arseblog reaches the grand old age of 5. On this day in 2002 the very first words were:

The Arseblog is born amidst a fanfare of pure silence and a rippling of no applause. Not sure what way this thing is going to go, it has no plan, no direction, no aim, no purpose - simply a tool for me to ramble on about all things Arsenal and maybe some other stuff instead. Anyway, I shall crack on.

Profound, I think you’ll agree. Not for one moment did I think I’d be still doing it, daily, five years later on. And my how things have grown - last year’s birthday post was full of stats and facts and figures and it’s gotten worse, if you know what I mean. More visitors, more comments, more emails, more page views and more pressure as you people demand your daily Arseblog like the relentless, arse-hungry, blog savages you are.

Since last year Arseblog has moved from Barcelona to Dublin and the Arsecast has been added to things providing you with a weekly dollop of Arsenal audio where we know the difference between Philippe and Robert Senderos and nobody fucks with Arsene Wenger Hawkins.

Thanks to Tom for his stand-in blogs and his technical expertise which helps fix things when I break them. Thanks as well to the other Arsenal bloggers who happily provide their time for the Arsecasts, it’s much appreciated.

And especially thanks to all of you for your visits, emails, comments, suggestions, complaints and hate mail. It’s all very welcome. As I’ve always said Arseblog is a labour of love and even five years on I haven’t got bored of it. It’s now become a huge part of my life and I appreciate everyone’s support, from recent readers to those sick masochists who have been here since day one. Offline the Arseblog community has grown too and it’s always a pleasure to see you folk.

Eagle-eyed readers will have noticed in the links bar at the top that there are other plans afoot and I should be able to give you some more details of that next month. Anyway, it’s all part of trying to make sure that Arseblog doesn’t become stale and predictable. Ok, more stale and predictable.

So, raise a glass, here’s to five more years (the perfect excuse for a breakfast beer!). Cheers everyone.

Feb

26

The kids did us proud

Filed Under The Arsenal | 610 arses

Well, it wasn’t to be yesterday as two goals by a hideous cunt won the trophy for Chelsea but the lads can look back with their heads held high and know that this was a game they could have won against the billionaire assembled blues.

Theo celebrates his goalIt had started so well too. We came out of the blocks flying and put Chelsea on the back foot straight away with our passing and movement. After we won a corner when Julio Baptista’s great shot was saved be Cech, Theo Walcott won the ball from the clearance, fed it to Abou Diaby who showed neat footwork on the edge of the box before playing Theo back in. He took a touch and curled a great shot past Cech for his first Arsenal goal. Brilliant.

About 10 minutes later Chelsea were level. Didier Drogba looked offside to me, and based on the decisions that went for the rest of the game Arsenal can feel rightly aggrieved by the linesman’s failure to raise his flag, but play went on and he seemed to have a lot of time to fire his shot past Almunia. We didn’t let our heads drop though and continued to play good football for the rest of the half.

Afterwards Arsene Wenger talked about us lacking a bit of maturity in front of goal and early in the second half we could have scored twice. Abou Diaby was played through and tried to curl one to the right hand side of the goal but Cech made another excellent save while Cesc had a great run and his shot just went wide by inches, if that. Then came the moment which changed the game, in my opinion. From a corner Abou Diaby kicked John Terry in the face and the Chelsea man was unconscious before he hit the ground. Not nice to see and thankfully he was all right although the fucking Candle in the Wind shit from Alan Parry and Andy Gray was a bit much. As he was being treated there was a shot of Peter Kenyon in the stands - was I alone in wishing what had happened to Terry had happened to him instead?

Diaby kicks TerryAfter a lengthy delay we then lost Diaby (here’s hoping the metatarsal rumours aren’t true), who had been excellent in midfield - not sure if he injured himself when he kicked Terry - and Armand Traore who was likely to be subbed anyway. Hoyte moved to left back, Eboue came on for Traore and Hleb for Diaby. We seemed to lack some of the drive and purpose that we had previously. As well as that Chelsea’s experience came to the fore a bit too. Lampard hit the bar with a long range shot and then on 85 minutes Chelsea got the winner.

Denilson gave the ball away when we were playing it out of defence, Essien spread it to Robben and Drogba beat Senderos to the cross to head home the winner. Gutting but then Drogba is having the season of his fucking life, the enormous, hideous cunt. We had brought Adebayor for Aliadiere and with 7 minutes of injury time Arsenal were pushing forward looking for the equaliser when Kolo Toure took exception to Mikel trying to pull his shirt off and the pair scuffled in the midfield.

Frank Lampard came running over to get involved and got swung around the place by Cesc, who I cannot love any more than I already do, and soon everyone was at it. Not nice to see but sadly not unexpected given the hapless performance of the referee and his inability to keep control of the game. When everything had settled down a bit Kolo and Mikel got red cards - which I thought was harsh - Lampard and Cesc got yellows and Adebayor got a red too which sent the Togonator completely mental as he couldn’t understand why he’d been sent off.

I completely understand his frustration. It’s injury time in a cup final, you’re looking for an equaliser and then you get a red card for absolutely nothing. Of course players should keep their calm as much as possible but tell me who wouldn’t react in that situation? Replays later showed that Emmanuel Eboue, who previously had been booked for a foul on Robben and got unnecessarily involved with him on the touchline, came over and hit Wayne Bridge on the back of the head. Now, to me it didn’t look like anything more than a little slap but it gave Bridge the chance to go down and for the officials to send Eboue off. Except it wasn’t Eboue.

Adebayor was sent off after the linesman came over and told Howard Webb what he’d seen. This is the same linesman who didn’t see the offside for the first goal. In retrospect it’s understandable that he can’t get something like a difficult offside decision correct when he can’t tell the difference between a stocky 5′10 black guy and a lanky 6′4 black guy. Absolutely farcical all round. Given how well we played and how exceptional the lads were all day I don’t want to criticise anyone but you have to ask questions of Eboue - why did he feel like he needed to do that to Bridge? Maybe with Adebayor on we might have nicked a goal. What he did was utterly stupid and pointless and it’s not the first time we’ve said that about him.

No doubt there’ll be more coverage of the handbags, but let’s face it, that was not a brawl by anyone’s standards. As Arsene Wenger said that would do a disservice to the overall quality of the game. It was, all things considered, a very entertaining cup final and we’ve now had a man sent off in our last three finals. Not that it’s relevant to anything but it’s worth mentioning. Is it some kind of record?

So in the end we couldn’t do it and the Carling Cup dream was over. I’m not going to talk about the ‘moral victory’ or anything like it. The history books will show Chelsea as the winners but the lads can take great heart and credit from their performance. The kids outplayed a Chelsea side, which cost hundreds of millions to put together, for the vast majority of the game. As Arsene Wenger said the difference between the two sides was Drogba, who despite being a hideous cunt, is probably one of the best strikers in the world right now. Had we had someone so capable up front then there’s no question we’d have won it.

Still, there’s so much to be proud of from this team. From the way they play, which is fearless and swashbuckling at times, to how they stand up for themselves in the face of provocation from experienced opposition professionals and there’s no doubt whatsoever they’ll learn a huge amount from the cup run and from the final itself. It’ll hurt because losing always hurts but these boys want to win so much. You can see it in them and pain like this can act as a great motivator.

We’ve seen Theo come of age, I hope - that goal will do so much for him. Abou Diaby, if he can get through 90 minutes, looks just awesome and Denilson is so clever, so composed and people forget that the cup final was only his 10th appearance or something ridiculous like that. Our midfield pissed all over Lampard and Ballack and Essien and Makelele and to see Lampard giving it the clenched fists like they’d just beaten Brazil at the end was maddening but completely in character for him - the actions of a deluded cunt. Then they showed why they really are the most despicable football club on earth as they went to collect the trophy.

They all changed into ‘Winners 07′ t-shirts before going to collect their medals. To me that showed a lack of respect and an arrogance that I’m sorry we weren’t able to stop. To see Ashley Cole up there dancing with a medal around his neck may have justified, to him, his decision to move but money and nights out with ‘JT’ and Fat Frank aren’t worth a shit to what he could have had at Arsenal. Sad cunt.

Anyway, the crux of the matter is this. Chelsea’s players are cunts, their manager - although he was mildly gracious for once because not even he could not see how outplayed his team were - is a cunt, their knuckle-dragging, celery throwing fans are cunts and that fat, red faced cunt who is always there standing around the tunnel area or, as yesterday, on the pitch at the end, is a fat, red faced cunt. Who the fuck is he anyway?

On the other hand the Arsenal boys have done us proud. They play great football, they’ve given us a lot to look forward to because if you think about how well someone like Denilson or Diaby played with so little experience of English football, how good are they going to be next season or the season after? Credit too to the manager who did the right thing by playing a young team. Maybe nobody expected them to win but nobody expected them to make Chelsea look as one-paced and pedestrian as they did. Chelsea may have won the trophy but the Arsenal boys were not losers. The Carling Cup has been a brilliant competition for us this season and the run and defeat in the final will do more to bring us silverware in the future than any amount of reserve games they could play.

Quick links: Arsene Wenger reaction post-match, Adebayor says “I’ve been stitched up, m’lord”, Arsene delay Theo’s surgery because of Diaby’s injury, Wenger on possible FA action.

Obviously as disappointing as all this is we’ve got lots of football to play in the days to come so we need to find our focus again very quickly. No doubt there’ll be changes ahead of the game on Wednesday but we can wait till tomorrow to go over those.

What did you make of it all?

Feb

25

Sunday pre-Carling Cup final round-up

Filed Under The Arsenal | 960 arses

So it’s cup final Sunday. A quick round-up of the stories for you because everything that’s needed to be said about the game has been said already.

Jeremie Aliadiere thinks the Carling Cup might have saved his Arsenal career. He was on the brink of leaving the January transfer window but Robin van Persie’s injury and some good performances and goals have convinced Arsene Wenger that his faith in the Frenchman was justified. Whether he remains at the club beyond this season remains to be seen but it would be nice if he had one or two more telling contributions to make - starting today.

Gilberto, who I think will start today, says he’s been like a father figure to Denilson. Denilson himself says he doesn’t feel any pressure and he says the Carling Cup final will be like a kick about in the street - except there you don’t get to nutmeg John Terry to score the winning goal. There’s also a nice piece in the Telegraph about the Boys from Brazil while the News of the World has the video, which surely everyone has seen by now, of Gilberto, Denilson and Baptista eating Uncle Bens and singing songs on the mandolin.

Arsene Wenger says Theo Walcott has been under more pressure than Wayne Rooney - obviously not gravitational pressure because Rooney’s enormous girth has its own orbit - but has backed the young man to come good. Wouldn’t today be a nice day for his first Arsenal goal?

George Graham says he always thought the Carling Cup or whatever the fuck it was called back then (Milk Cup, Littlewoods Cup, Rumbleows Cup, Heinz Baked Bean Cup) - the League Cup - was a trophy worth winning. Of course it was the first trophy George won at Arsenal when we beat Liverpool in the 87 final. He did go and spoil it all a bit by winning it with Sp*rs some years later though.

Finally, Patrick Barclay in the Telegraph, has some sensible comment about the furore caused by Cesc’s remarks to Mark Hughes last week.

And that’s that. To everyone travelling to Cardiff today please have a safe trip there and back, enjoy the day and give the lads the support they deserve. I’m off to get the Sunday papers and the lucky beers.

Come on you reeeeeeeeds. Till tomorrow.

Feb

24

Saturday round-up, Arsenal pubs in Cardiff

Filed Under The Arsenal | 367 arses

Before I start this morning’s round-up it’s fantastic timing to see an article by football’s most pompous, bombastic writer, our old friend James Lawton. The irony of him referring to Arsene Wenger as the ‘village bigot’ is quite delicious.

Obviously his article stands up to little scrutiny and for those wondering about the timing please listen to yesterday’s Arsecast , you see what I mean. Lawton previously here and here.

Moving onto the news William Gallas wants to play in the Carling Cup final. He says it’s not just because it’s against Chelsea but because it’s a good opportunity to get some match practice after being out for three months. With the games coming up like Michael Owen, thick and fast, he’ll have plenty of time to get back to full fitness. However, he does admit the youngsters deserve to play after their exploits in getting there.

There’s been plenty of talk from the players as well. Philippe Senderos says Arsenal is a unique place for young players, Kolo Toure believes the character of the team will stand them in good stead against Chelsea, Julio Baptista says what he’s done in the Carling Cup shows he’s capable of doing the business for Arsenal, Theo Walcott talks about his days as a Chelsea ballboy (hopefully he’s made a full recovery) and how he doesn’t feel under any pressure.

Leaving aside Jose Mourinho’s hour after hour of talking about himself and how great he was yesterday Arsene Wenger spoke about the ‘risk’ he’s taking by playing his inexperienced players against Chelsea tomorrow. Clever stuff really, it takes the pressure off his players, nobody can accuse them of bottling it if they don’t win and makes it look like Chelsea are the only ones with anything to lose tomorrow.

Personally, I reckon the lads have done fantastically well to get the final and whatever happens they deserve all the praise and plaudits they get. That said, they’re not going out there on a jolly - if you go to Anfield and put 6 past Liverpool, no matter how ‘weak’ that team is then on your day you can beat anyone. I think it’s going to be a good match and I have a sneaky feeling we’re going to do them.

Don’t forget the lucky beers though. You all need to drink lucky beers. For those of you going to Cardiff tomorrow and looking for Arsenal friendly pubs can you thank the lovely Llinos for the following list:

The Gatekeeper, Westgate Street, opens at 9am and serves breakfast,
Dempseys, Castle street (opp Castle) opens at 11am and serves food
O’Neills, Trinity Street, opens at 12 noon and serves food
The Owain Glyndwr, Church Street,
Callaghans Irish Bar, Castle street (right next to Gate 1) opens at 12 noon not sure about food,
The City Arms, Quay Street, opens at 11am, serves food
The Model Inn, Quay Street, opens at 12 noon, serves food
The Rummer Tavern, Castle Street (opposite the Castle) opens at 11am
Queens Vaults, Westgate Street, open at 12 noon and serves food
The Old Arcade, off St Mary Street, opens at 12 noon and serves food.

So there you. In the meantime we can keep an eye on the Premiership and hope some results go our way as well. Till tomorrow, Arserinos.

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