ARSEBLOG News Review

It's been a bad week for me, and for all gunners fans.

I've been a victim of crime, and so have Arsenal.

We've both been robbed!

Jung's theory of synchronicity is spot on, it seems

When Sting sang 'da do do do, da da da da', he knew what he was talking about

All readers of Arseblog News Review know that I'm an original

I like keeping it real

I don't take anything from anyone, not since I nicked a wurst from Gerd Muller in Stuttgart in 1962

I paid for that crime ten times over!

So it was a helluva shock when I found out someone had nicked my car!

Even worse, I then hear on the grapevine that the low-life who's nicked it is driving around town passing it off as his own!

That's a helluva bad scene!

I ask son Digory for a bit of help - he knows people - to see if I can get back what's mine

The word goes out, but I'm not expecting much

Then, this morning, a total surprise

My car is sitting in the drive. It's been returned!

I'm pretty happy, feeling upbeat all day. Until about 5 o'clock when Digory comes in

He says that the person who took the car is now going round saying it was all a mistake, his mate told him it was a gift blah blah blah.

What's a man gonna do?

Arsenal/ Man U was the biggest miscarriage since someone took my bags off the carousel at Stansted and took them home.

I'd call Mike Riley a homer, but I don't want to slander the name of the writer of the Odyssey.

That was a helluva film

Especially when the space ships dance around to Mozart

Arsene Wenger reminded me of the computer Hal, after the game

He sounded calm and reasonable, but was obviously psychotic

My spies in the tunnel tell me it was a bouillabaisse which hit Fergie

And it wasn't a straw and it wasn't water Jens was spraying around!

Shocking