Thursday, March 28, 2024

The hilarious tears of unfathomable sadness

I was out until quite late last night and didn’t see the Chelsea score until I got home.

And when I saw it, I laughed. And then I saw people saying John Terry cried so I went GIF hunting, and I found the GIFs and the GIFs were good, and I laughed some more. I know there were some people out there who wanted Chelsea’s pain to be exacerbated by being beaten in the final. Not me.

There’s the chance they could win the thing if they got that far, and that would be utterly disgusting. This is much, much the better outcome, and any day when John Terry cries is a good day. It doesn’t solve bigger problems like world peace, starvation, war, torture, the imbalance between those who have and those who have not, modern slavery, or Phil Collins, but it does solve the problem of John Terry not crying.

It should happen more often because I think it’s important that people who struggle and have bad days can get some perspective. Like the man who who has to work two jobs to support his family and his boss is a tyrant whose cruelty knows no bounds and just for his own pleasure he makes the man eat asbestos and snort lines of powder which are the ashes of a barbecue on which he cooked the man’s loyal dog and said he’d fire him if he didn’t do it and then on the way home he is drenched by another person who drives through the puddles that lie near the pavement which soaks him all the way through and when he finally gets home his children need medicine he can’t afford so he has to use one of those cash converter payday loan places and gets just £20 for an item worth a lot more than that and ends up paying massive amounts of interest on it because they’re glorified loan sharks and even when he does get a chance to relax he finds a lump on his testicle which we all know is never a good thing.

But then he sees that John Terry cried and there’s a glint of happiness, however fleeting, in his miserable existence and that gives him the strength to carry on because who wouldn’t want to see John Terry crying again at some point?

It’s the little things, eh? Football isn’t simply about the pleasure of seeing your own team do well, it’s about the enjoyment you get when others fail. I’m sure we’ve provided many a pleasant moment for fans of other clubs down the years, that’s just the way it is. I have no problem with them laughing when things go wrong for us, because there are always things like this to make up for it.

Oh, by the way, apparently it’s 1-1 at Newcastle.

Oh, OH! And we should mind the gap. Careful now. And so on.

Anyway, away from the joyous events of last night, and back to Arsenal and it seems like Jack Wilshere is on course to be fit for the World Cup. And I suspect he might well be fit for the final game of the season and possibly the FA Cup final. The update comes from Roy Hodgson who said:

He has been training with the first team for a while. I have spoken to Arsène and they have been holding him back simply because they don’t want to push him too early.

Firstly, I like that he uses the accent when he talks about the manager, and secondly that’s good news about Jack. As it stands, I don’t think he comes straight back into first team action, but having him back in the squad is a good thing overall. This season has seen him improve in terms of his productivity (5 goals and 4 assists in all competitions) and appearances (30 starts under his belt) and that’s a positive.

I’ve said it before but I do think there are parallels with Aaron Ramsey. It wasn’t that long ago when people questioned whether he was worth his place in the side, now he’s right up there with the first names on the team sheet. If Jack can have a reasonably successful World Cup, I don’t think there’s any reason why he can’t come back next season and improve again as a player.

How he fits into the team I’m not 100% sure of really, but if he plays well enough then he gives the manager something to think about, and as I said with Ramsey, who would have predicted his rise and impact? Even those of us that thought there was a good player in there couldn’t have foreseen just how vital he’d become, so perhaps there’s a lesson to learn there with regard to Jack.

Beyond that there’s not a lot to talk about this morning. Did I mention that John Terry cried? I think I did. Can’t be too sure though.

Have yourselves a good Thursday. Tim Stillman will be here with his column later on, I’ll be back tomorrow with an Arsecast and all the usual Friday stuff.

Until then.

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