Sunday round-up

An early one today as Brainy Joe here foolishly agreed to a 5-a-side tournament at 10am on a Sunday morning. A Sunday morning after being out the night before. Still, this feels like familiar ground for some reason.

Rounding up what’s going on this Sunday in breakneck fashion. We’ll start with The Mirror and something positive before we head into the ‘Christ, they’re all gonna leave’ stuff. They say that we’re offering Jack Wilshere a new 5 year deal that will keep him at the club until 2016.

Makes sense all right but then he also signed a new long-term deal on November 1st. At this rate he’ll be signing another just around Christmas time. He’ll get carpal tunnel if we’re not careful. All the same, it’s good news I suppose. It certainly beats players who won’t sign new deals (unless it’s Eboue. Can’t we just hide the pen from him?).

And speaking of players who won’t sign, The Mirror also goes with the story about Wenger selling Cesc to keep Nasri. I was trying to think of a good analogy for that but it’s too early. The best I could come up with involved chopping off your balls just to keep your mickey but I didn’t want to imply Cesc was a penis. Just that he was as important as a penis. To the team, I mean. But that begs the big question: if Cesc is as important as a penis, is Nasri as important as a pair of testicles? I might leave that one for you to decide yourselves.

The article says that Wenger and Nasri spoke last week but again no decision was made, and at this point I’m growing a bit bored of the whole situation. Here’s the thing: if the £90,000 a week on offer isn’t good enough, then fine. See your contract out and go somewhere else. If Nasri is demanding a more central role in the team, which hinges upon the departure of Cesc, then he can, quite frankly, lower himself into an industrial mincer for all I care. You don’t get to tell the manager where you play, you play where you get picked.

If he wants the manager to sign players who will convince him we can win trophies perhaps he might look in the mirror a bit too. It’s easy to point fingers at our defence when they ship goals like they did at Bolton, but lost in that shoddy marking mire is the fact that Nasri had at least one golden chance to put us 2-1 up in the game. Clean through, just the keeper to beat, bottled it. Need your big players to step up? He didn’t. Which is why I find his demands, if they’re being accurately reported, a bit hard to take.

As I’ve said before it’s all boiling down to money, it has been the stumbling block for months and months now, and it will remain so, no matter what else is said by the player or his cunting cunt of an agent. There’s a story in the News of the World about a £20m Man United bid but because it’s subscription I can’t link to it. I suspect it’s a load of shit anyway.

And finally from The Mirror a story about a double central-defender swoop for Chris Samba and Gary Cahill!!!!!! Oh. ZZZZzzzzzz. There’s just no imagination in Sunday tabloid transfer rumours these days.

The People says Cesc will give up a 15% cut of any fee Arsenal receive for him in order to help facilitate a move to Barcelona. There doesn’t appear to be much in the Spanish press this morning apart from them running with the ‘Ricky Martin is Wenger’s substitute for Cesc’ guff. We can resume more intensive coverage of Barcelona’s skinflint ways tomorrow.

And aside from all that there’s little to tell you. So I’m gonna have breakfast, then hobble around a 5-a-side pitch for a little while.

More tomorrow. Have a good one.

No gentialia were mutliated in the making of this post.