In the most time honoured tradition, and as you might well have guessed, today’s blog is accompanied by a very heafty boilk.
I do apologise for the tardiness of today’s post, but it’s really not my fault. Honestly. See, what happened was that I – completely innocently – asked a couple of friends over for dinner. I took photos at their wedding a few weeks ago, and they got back from their honeymoon (in Zanzibar, the bastards) last week, and last night they were coming over to see how the pictures had turned out. So naturally I was nervous.
That wasn’t the problem though. The problem was that they brought champagne. I know I’m not going to elicit much sympathy complaining about my champagne hangover, but really, I think that’s what did it. I mean, I frequently drink entire bottles of rum, and when the rum’s run out, move on to gin until that’s run out too, also having had delicious wine with dinner, but those of you that know me will know I’m just not posh enough to drink champagne as often as I really deserve to. I know – it’s hard to believe for me too.
Perhaps the weirdest thing is that Mrs Tom is now berating me since the alarm on my phone, which I so diligently set to wake me up so I could come here and write this post for you people, either didn’t work, which is how I remember it, or as Mrs Tom says, went off four times between now and 9am, and eventually I said “fuck that, I’m not getting up”. I just have no recollection of that which means either she’s lying, or there’s something wrong with my memory. I know which I prefer to believe.
Champagne, people. You have been warned.
Anyway, yesterday’s football. Erm. Well, I watched Germany v Argentina. It was before my champagne-wielding guests turned up and totally ruined my evening (and today’s blog). I have to say that was a bit of a turn up. I remember that Argentina had struggled to qualify, and everyone was worried that the tournament would be the worse for not having Messi and his chums to entertain us, but yesterday you could see why they almost failed to qualify. Their defending was absolutely shocking, with at least two of the goals conceded being ones that you could – sadly – imagine the current Arsenal team losing. Dimichelis had talked before the game about how he wouldn’t be able to go home if he defended like The World’s Most Detestable Footballer, but he defended pretty much the same way he did in the Champions’ League final, and it produced the same result. Not that it’s fair to single him out though – the entire defence were shocking.
One of the most disappointing thing about this World Cup is how the supposedly big players have almost all totally failed to shine. Rooney (heh), Kaka, Not-the-real Ronaldo, and now Messi have ruined the tournament with their total lack of respect for my need to see awesome skillz. Granted, Messi was possibly Argentina’s best player yesterday, but that’s really not saying much.
As for players that have lived up to the hype, Spain’s David Villa scored the goal that sent his team into the semi-final. I have to apologise again for my evening and next day ruining friends and their Champagne, since it was their fault I wasn’t able to watch the game in full, but what I did see was mostly Spain, with Paraguay looking threatening when they did get the ball. They even had the ball in the Spanish goal at one point, with it being disallowed for reasons that were beyond me. The sound was off on the TV, but it seemed like they were saying that the officials thought that someone had flicked it on when they patently hadn’t. Anyway, I suppose that’s not the big talking point of the game – I did see the penalties too. Paraguay had their own, that Casillas saved, before Xavi Alonso scored with his first, and then was made to re-take it in one of the most picky pieces of refereeing ever. Some people encroached into the D on the edge of the penalty area (and even just into the box). I can understand that being a problem if the penalty is saved and then scored on the follow up, but how does it make any difference at all if the penalty is scored? Stupid decision.
Anyway, Alonso took it again, and the goalie made a good save, before completely taking out Cesc as he was following up. It was the most obvious pelanty you’ll ever see, but to have awarded a third spot kick would’ve been ridiculous, so the ref didn’t bother. To be fair to Spain, they didn’t lose their heads as other teams might’ve done, kept at it, and eventually scored off three posts from two shots.
Paraguay didn’t offer much after that from what I saw, and probably the most interesting thing was learning that Sarah Jessica Parker was eligible to play for Spain. I’m not sure whether it’s her parents or her European heritage that qualifies her to play for Spain, but it’s nice to see her make the effort and actually turn up at this World Cup. Some of the other so-called stars could learn from her example.
And with that, I’m going to leave you to go and nurse my poor, Bollinger-powered hangover, go and do the whole hunter-gatherer thing, and marvel at Arseblogger’s continued ability to produce quality content day after day when I know he drinks like I do. Thank God he doesn’t drink Champagne that often either.
Until next time, Arsemates. It’s been my pleasure, as ever. And I shall have words with my pals and explain to them that they must not ply me with Champagne next time.