A hearty and fruity and Guinness powered *boilk* to you all. My head hurts. I’m allergic to hurt so this is not good.
So what is there to talk about this fine raininy grey horrible morning? That is a good question and one that can be answered with another question. But that question is a secret so don’t ask me what it is. I simply won’t tell. I suppose we should talk about Arsenal and stuff. Ok then.
Martin Taylor says he’ll be happy when Eduardo is back in the Arsenal team and scoring goals again. That, I imagine, is something he has in common with most Arsenal fans but the main difference is none of us have broken anyone’s leg. I heard from a very good source that Martin Taylor does all satanic stuff at the weekend right and that he has a coven and they sacrifice orphans on a big stone altar and sing songs by bands called ‘Lucifer Jones’ and ‘Beelzebubble’ and then they drink blood and then do Tom Cruise impressions and stuff.
Alisher Usmanov says he’s not going to make a takeover bid … for 6 months, at least. What a true champion this man is. What a credit to the world he and Double-D are. Fat & Orange should be made presidents of the world. Alternatively they could be nailed to a tree and smeared with some kind of honey so a bear comes along and eats them just after he rapes them because he’s a randy old bear and let’s face it, you don’t get an opportunity like that too often. When you find people nailed to a tree in the forest you have to take advantage of it. Usmanov says he’s trying to ‘reassure’ fans. I’d like to reassure him in the face with a plank of wood, the fat cunt.
Ahead of tomorrow’s game against Villa Arsene Wenger says Diaby will be back but he’s not rushing Robin van Persie who is expected back in the side on the twelfth of never. That means, perhaps, another chance for Bendtner up front but seeing as Adebayor and Bendtner are like Kramer vs Kramer with the ball being the child they both want custody of we might have to leave it to Theo Walcott to score the goals. Hmm, with Diaby back he could go left, Hleb right and Theo up front, that way the great Dane and the Togonator don’t have to hate each other in public. Hurrah!
There’ll be more team news later and Arsene’s first press conference since the Taylor incident. It’ll be interesting to hear what he’s got to say and you can find details of it in tomorrow’s blog, probably. Unless I decide to change the whole focus of this blog overnight and report on the Iraq war or develop some kind of social conscience. It is unlikely though.
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Enjoy. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a hangover to attend to.